Overcoming Limiting Beliefs – A Guide To Authentic Living

Here is something that every single one of us has dealt with at some point—limiting beliefs.

You know those little voices in your head that whisper:

• ‘I’m not smart enough.’
• ‘I could never do that.’
• ‘Success is for other people, not me.’

These beliefs feel real, but they are nothing more than stories we’ve created and have been conditioned to believe. As human beings, we are so very good at creating stories in our heads. We’re going to rewrite those stories. So, if you’ve ever felt stuck, if you’ve ever doubted yourself, or if you’re tired of holding yourself back—this episode is for you.

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Overcoming Limiting Beliefs – A Guide To Authentic Living

I enjoy everything about you guys, your compliments, your comments, and your feedback. Thank you so very much. Welcome back to another episode of the show. This is the show where we embrace our truth, own our power, and step into our most authentic selves. We are being who we were created to be. We are being ourselves unapologetically.

We’re going to talk about something that every single one of us has dealt with at some point in time, and it is called limiting beliefs. I know you heard about it. I know this is not your first time hearing about limiting beliefs, but we’re going to discuss it. Our last episode, if you remember, was about comparing yourselves. I thought that comparison has a role to play in limiting beliefs. That’s why I want to bring this episode to you.

Understanding And Identifying Limiting Beliefs Clearly

You know those little voices that whisper in your head things such as, “I’m not smart enough. I could never do that. Success is only for other people. I never win anything. I’m not successful,” I call these little whispers or voices in your head head chatter. That’s what it is. Head chatter is so good at telling us false things the majority of the time. It’s not telling us things that are true. This head chatter becomes beliefs, and they feel real. What I want you to understand is that they are nothing more than stories that we create. We create them, and we are conditioned to believe them.

As human beings, I know you guys know this. We create stories in our heads. For example, if someone is looking at you in a certain way, we are so quick as human beings to create a story around why that person is looking at us. We tell ourselves, “That person doesn’t like me because he or she is looking at me.” We tell ourselves these things. We create these stories.

Here’s the point I want to make. When you do the research on the facts of your story, you’ll find that there are very few facts. When I talk about facts, I’m talking about truth. You’ll find that there are few. The only fact that is there is that the person who was looking at you may have been looking in your direction, maybe thinking about something different, and wasn’t even paying attention to you.

They could have been looking past you, although to you, it looked as if that person was looking at you. You sold yourself on the story that the person doesn’t like you, they got something against you, or they feel some kind of way. This is the story that you’re telling yourself, and you stick to it. You found yourself getting an attitude toward that person, and they didn’t do anything other than look in your direction. I need you to understand that as human beings, we are so very good at creating stories in our heads.

In this episode, we’re going to talk about these stories as overcoming limiting beliefs, a guide to authentic living. We’re going to not only talk about these stories, but we’re going to rewrite these stories. If we get it right in this episode, you’ll identify beforehand that you are about to create a story. You’ll learn how to stop yourself in your tracks so you are not creating a story. If you ever felt stuck, if you ever doubted yourself, or if you are tired of holding yourself back, this episode is for you.

How Overcoming Limiting Beliefs Transforms Your Life

Let me tell you why the topic that we’re talking about is so important. In overcoming limiting beliefs, it changes. It will change the outcome of your life. It will produce even more results in your life. Our beliefs shape our lives. Think about it. If you believe you can’t do something, you won’t even try. If you believe something is a waste of time, whether it be a relationship, a task, or whatever, you’ll not give it any effort whatsoever. If you’re anything like me, you know I wouldn’t.

Let me first give you an example. Imagine two people applying for the same job. One of them has a limiting belief, and this limiting belief is telling them, “I’m not qualified enough for this job.” They create a story around that that makes them believe that they’re not qualified. They already told themselves they’re not going to get the job. They’ve gone on the interview, but they’re not going to give it their all because of the limiting belief that they had told themselves and the story that they created, which is a limiting belief, around it.

The other person believes, “I may not have all the qualifications for this job, but I know I can learn and grow into this position. I know once I learn the ropes, I’ll have this position down.” Guess who gets the job? Do we need to guess? No. The one who believes in themself enough to show up, take risks, and put themselves out there is the one who’s going to get the job. This is why overcoming limiting beliefs is so crucial. Your thoughts directly impact your actions, and your actions shape your reality.

In this episode, I want to talk about what limiting beliefs are, where they come from, how to recognize the limiting beliefs that are holding you back because we all have them, and the impact of these beliefs in your life. I want to talk about how it’s impacting you, and then what I want to give you is a step-by-step strategy to shift your mindset and start living authentically. You notice me saying it time and time again. Start living and be you. That’s why you are here on the show. I am hoping that by the end of this episode, you’ll take real, actionable steps to reclaim your power, start moving forward with confidence, and start being you unapologetically. Are you down for that?

Limiting Beliefs Begin With A Single Thought

Let’s start with defining limiting beliefs. Let me say this. I said it earlier, but I don’t know if you caught onto it. I didn’t say it exactly like this, but let me start with this. It begins with a thought. Plain and simple. Limiting beliefs begin with a thought. You will have a thought, and that is what gets the ball rolling. A limiting belief is any thought or assumption that holds you back from achieving your full potential, being who you were created to be. It’s that little voice that says, “I’m too old,” or, “I’m not smart enough,” or, “I can’t do that.”  If you want to start something new, it’s like, “No.”

It could be something like, “I don’t have the right background to work in this industry, or let alone succeed in this industry. People like me don’t become successful. People like me don’t go off on a limb. We don’t take chances. We don’t take risks. I don’t take risks.” It begins with a thought. These beliefs don’t pop in your head randomly. They are thoughts. Thoughts pop into your head randomly. When you think of something long enough and over and over again, you begin to believe it. Your beliefs are learned over time. These are these thoughts. You said it over and over again.

Where Limiting Beliefs Come From

Let’s dive into where they come from. We have limiting beliefs. We all have them. If you don’t recognize them, which we’re going to talk about a little later, you live in them, and you begin to create stories around them. Where do limiting beliefs come from? I’ve already revealed that it starts with a thought. Let’s dive in a little deeper. I already shared that with you, but let’s go on a little deeper for those who are reading and need help in this area..

Some of us recognize the thought and are like, “Let me start focusing on my thoughts. Let me start paying attention.” One of the things that we all experienced was that we were all children. We didn’t come into this earth at 7 or at 25. You know what I’m trying to get. We were all children. The conditioning or the things that you learned in your childhood play a part.

Think back to when you were a child. Take a moment. Think about some of those limiting beliefs or those messages. Let me say that because then, you didn’t know they were limiting beliefs. Think about what was said to you. Think about the messages that you heard in your home that weren’t positive and that spoke about success. What did you hear in your home that spoke about money? Money was a thing in my home growing up. My mother would always say, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” It was always something about money.

What are the things that you heard when you were a child about relationships or self-worth? Maybe you were told things such as, “You have to work twice as hard to get half as much,” or, “No matter how hard you work, it will never be enough,” or, “Dreaming big is unrealistic for you or for us because we never achieve. In this family, we’re always going to be broke. You’ll never make it in this world.” How many of you have heard that before? How about, “You are not going to amount to anything.” That’s another way of hearing it. It could also be like, “You don’t have what it takes to be successful. You don’t have what it takes to get that kind of job, meet these kinds of people, or be in that kind of relationship.”

Let’s take an example. If you grew up in a household like mine, where money was always a struggle, you might have internalized the belief that money is hard to come by or that rich people are greedy. They don’t care about people who are less fortunate. It’s all about them and what they want. These subconscious beliefs can affect the way you handle finances.

As an adult, you may feel as if you’re always living or have been told, “You’re going to always live paycheck to paycheck,” or feel as if that’s okay for you because that’s how you grew up. These subconscious beliefs, I’m calling them, because they were thoughts at first, affect, can affect, and probably are affecting the way you handle your finances as an adult. Even if you don’t pay attention to it, I want you to stop and pay attention to it. Realize it. Is it impacting the way you are handling your funds? Does it have a direct connection to how your childhood was and some of the things that were said to you when you were a child? Think about that.

Past traumas or failures in your life that have occurred, when these things happen, there are thoughts around them, and they become a limiting belief. Have you ever tried something and failed miserably? I have. With that, it impacted me because I felt like, “I’m not good. Why am I doing this? I’m not good at this.” I made myself believe that, and I created a story around it.

Maybe you started a business. Maybe you started a band, a group, or something, and it flopped. It didn’t go right. It wasn’t successful. Maybe you went after a huge dream and things didn’t work out at all. Those types of experiences can create fear in you, as they did in me, as well as self-doubt. I doubted myself for years, which led to limiting beliefs like, “I’ll never be good at this. I can’t get good at this. I was never meant to be successful. I can’t make it. I can’t make it in this world. I can’t do it.”

Failure Is A Detour Not A Dead End

Here’s the truth. Failure is a part of success. It’s not a sign to say stop it. With failure, you want to keep on going. Think of it as a detour pointing you in a different direction or direction. It’s not a sign to say stop at all. The only way to truly fail is to stop trying altogether and give up. That’s true failure, but because you fell or made a mistake doesn’t mean to stop our society.

Our culture plays a huge role in our limiting beliefs. Our culture has some expectations that it puts on us. If we don’t achieve or meet those expectations, then we feel like a failure. Our society tells us, “You’ve got to go to school. After you get your degree, you get a job. After you get a job, you work until you become successful.” That’s not what success looks like. Society cannot dictate to us, you, or me what success looks like unless we allow it to.

You’ll find yourself being bombarded with messages like, “By the time you are 30, you should own a house. You should have a stable career. You should be making six figures. Women should be a certain way. Men, you should be a certain way or act a certain way. If you didn’t go to college, you’re not able to get high-paying jobs. If you did, you’re supposed to get a high-paying job.” These are things that our society and our culture put on us and expect us to meet. These messages can make us feel inadequate in our everyday lives. Don’t match and don’t be the standard.

Allow me to remind you that you define your own success. I can’t define your success, and you can’t define my success. I’m not even going to allow society to do it because they cannot. The world doesn’t get to decide my success for me, nor for you. Don’t allow them to. If you do, these limiting beliefs are going to impact your life in a major way. It’s going to impact you.

We understand what limiting beliefs are. This is the part I want to get into. I want to talk about how they affect our lives. Let’s say you had a dream of being a movie star or a singer. You believe this, yet you are surrounded by people who don’t. Their negative thoughts, they share them with you. Here’s another. Let’s say you had a dream to start a business and be an entrepreneur. You believe that you can do it, but you’re telling yourself, “I’m not good with money. I can start a business, but I’m good with money.”

How Limiting Beliefs Shape Your Reality

That belief is what’s holding you back. You never take the first step because you’re busy saying, “I’m not good with money,” or you listen to someone else’s doubt about you, and you start believing that. You take it on for yourself, and you never take the first step. You never learn about finances. You never understand and learn how to invest in your own ideas and get the result that you dream of, which is your business. That never happens because of that limiting belief.

Maybe you have a belief, “Relationships never work for me.” This is what you’re saying, that you’re always going to be single because you can’t find a good man or you can’t find a good woman. You birth these thoughts, or someone gives them to you and you hold onto those thoughts, and because of those thoughts, you push people away. You avoid people. You avoid displaying, sharing, or revealing your vulnerability.

Some of us sabotage relationships. We will go straight out. Once we get to that point where they get close enough, we’re like, “I got to sabotage this relationship before it gets off the ground,” because you have a limiting belief that relationships don’t work for you. My point is this. Your thoughts will dictate or turn into your beliefs, and your beliefs will dictate your behavior. Your behavior creates your reality.

If you are alone and you are not in a relationship, and you are single, think about what those limiting beliefs are that you have that you’re holding onto, but not only that, that you created a story around and you’re living in that story. If you are alone, you are alone because you want to be alone. If you put yourself out there, get rid of the limiting belief. Tell yourself that you are capable of being in a relationship, and you are capable of loving and receiving love. That will become a belief, and that belief will dictate your behavior. Your behavior will become and create your reality. Before you know it, you’ll be in a relationship. Mark my words. That’s it on that part.

Breaking Free From Limiting Beliefs

We still have to talk about how to overcome these things, how to overcome limiting beliefs. I know so many people who are stuck in the way they think because that’s what they believe, and because they believe it, that’s how they behave. It’s their reality. They’re stuck in that. Let’s get into this part, which I think is the good part. How do we break free from limiting beliefs?

In the last episode, I talked about comparing and I introduced an exercise or a training, Path to Greatness, that will help you because it makes you go inward. What I want to add to that is there are a number of things that you can do other than Path to Greatness, and that is you have to identify your limiting beliefs, first and foremost.

First, you have to recognize the fact that you have them because a lot of us don’t want to believe that we’re stuck in this. We don’t want to believe this is our mindset. First, you have to recognize and realize that you have limiting beliefs. After that, what you want to do is begin to write them down. Write them in your journal. If you don’t have a journal, get a piece of paper and write it down.

Here’s what you do. I want you to get to the point where you identify your limiting beliefs, but let’s write down a goal first. Let’s write down one goal that you have. You’ve been afraid to go after this goal for numerous reasons, which you may not identify as limiting beliefs but they may be reasons, and you may feel that they’re legitimate. Let’s write down that one goal you’ve been afraid to go after.

I then need you to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back from accomplishing this goal?” Maybe it’s to save money, buy a car, buy a house, or get a different job. What’s holding you back? What do you believe about yourself that’s stopping you? You need to ask the question in this form, “What do I believe about myself that’s stopping me from accomplishing this goal, saving the money that I’m trying to save, buying a house, getting a car, or being in a relationship? What’s stopping me?” Once you write the things that are stopping you, that’s when you’ll begin to acknowledge that you have limiting beliefs. You will also begin to see the patterns of your limiting beliefs.

What I want you to do is then challenge this belief. Not only write it down, but I want you to challenge it. I want you to ask yourself, “Is this belief true?” One of the things that I do when I find I have some head chatter going on, and it can be of anything, even if somebody’s looking at me, I recognize, “That’s head chatter.” I do that now, but before then, what I did was I began to say, “Is that true? What’s true of this belief? What’s true in this story that I’m telling myself? Have there been moments in my life where the opposite was true? What’s true and what’s not true? Have there been moments when the opposite was true?”

For example, if you think, “I’m not good enough,” ask yourself, “Have there been times when I succeeded? When you think of, “I’m not good enough to do this,” have there been times in your life where you succeeded or you did something, you accomplished something, or you achieved something? What evidence do you have to prove that you are capable? These are the questions that I want you to ask. “Have there been times when I succeeded? What evidence do I have that proves that I’m capable? What evidence is there?” I want you to go and look for that evidence, and I want you to write it down.

Once you begin to question your belief, it starts losing power. When you tie that belief into a thought and you recognize that thought, there’s more. Let’s reframe that narrative. Let’s reframe that thought. Instead of saying, “I’m not good at that or at this,” or, “I’ll never be successful,” say something like, “I’m learning and improving every day. Every day, I’m taking steps in improving my ability to do the things that I dream of.”

Tell yourself, “I deserve success. I’m worthy of success, and I’m worthy of happiness,” instead of having yourself believe that you don’t deserve success. When that thought comes, you need to acknowledge that thought came, and you need to reframe that thought or get rid of it. Recognize, “That thought does not serve me.”

We all have to understand that the words that we speak out of our mouths have power. They have power when we speak them to other people, whether they’re positive or negative. They both impact. I need you to understand that it works both ways. The more you speak negatively about yourself, the more you’re going to believe it. Let’s flip it and speak positively. Let’s acknowledge or recognize the negativity that’s in our lives and begin to detach from it, regardless of who that person may be. Sometimes, it’s our closest relatives. Those who say they love us, care for us, and cherish us will be the ones who are going to give you that negative thought, and you’re going to take it as if it were your own.

Limiting beliefs lose power when you take action. You have to be in action. You have to do something about it. If you believe you are bad at networking, challenge yourself to attend one event. If you believe you can’t succeed in business, start something small. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Launch a simple website or a social media page, something as simple as that. These are actual steps that I’m giving you. I’ll go back and summarize steps 1 and 2 because I didn’t. I got too into it and I didn’t even think about giving you steps 1 and 2.

Another thing you can do is surround yourself with positive people. I said that. You become the people you spend most of your time with. Did you not know that? When you spend your time around a lot of negative people, watch how negative you become. If you are surrounded by negative influence, it’s going to be hard to change because you’re surrounded by it. When you introduce something positive, all they’re going to give you is negativity. When you surround yourself with people who will uplift you, elevate you, inspire you, and encourage you, you start to believe in yourself even more.

Let me go back in and share with you the steps. Identifying your unbelief is the first step. I talked about it. Recognize what these things are. Write them down. Step two is to challenge the belief. I want you to acknowledge these thoughts and beliefs, because remember, thoughts turn into beliefs, and then challenge them. Have a conversation with it. Challenge it. “Is this true? This isn’t true. What are the facts?” Take that belief or that thought and reframe it. Put a different spin on it. Make it not only positive, but powerful. “I’m worthy. I’m enough. I’m valuable. I’m important.” That’s number three. Reframe your thoughts. Reframe the narrative.

Step number four comes when you take small action steps. You have to be courageous to take action. Take action. Lose those thoughts. After you challenge it, recognize and say, “I’m not doing you anymore. I’m not playing with you anymore. That’s not it.” Do something small, like create a social media page or a website if you want to do business. If you’re interested in being in a relationship, you have positive friends, not negative friends. Ask your positive friends, which is step five. Surround yourself with positivity. Ask your positive friends whether they know anyone and take action. That’s step four.

Step five is to surround yourself with positivity. Surround yourself with people who will inspire you, encourage you, elevate you, uplift you, exalt you, and all of those things. These people will not feel intimidated by you. They won’t have a problem doing these things. When you surround yourself with negative people, they are going to have a hard time seeing the good in you. Make no doubt about it.

Embrace Your Power And Live Unapologetically

Know that you are not your fears, your doubts, and your past. Instead, you are powerful, amazing, valuable, and important beyond measure. Remember, it begins with a thought. Therefore, pay attention to your thinking because it can change your life. Paying attention to your thinking can change your life. Your thoughts affect your beliefs. Your beliefs affect your expectations. Your expectations affect your attitude. Your attitude affects your behavior.

Your behavior affects your performance, and your performance, good or bad, will change your life. We want it to be good so that we’ll see the results of the change. We’ll see the results of the negative change as well, but you want it to be good because then, it is helping you to be you unapologetically. Be very careful. Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny and who you are.

If you believe you’re capable, then you are capable. You will take action. Take action by writing down one or two limiting beliefs. I said earlier to write down your goals and start asking questions. Write down your goal and ask yourself those questions. I want you to identify your limiting beliefs. I want you to do that. You’ll find your limiting beliefs as you examine the goal and start asking yourself about that goal, that task, or a dream that you want to do.

When you do that and you ask yourself those questions, those limiting beliefs will pop up and you’ll see them. Those are the things that I want you to write down. Write down 1 or 2. What I want you to do in that one sitting is I want you to replace it. I want you to replace it with a new empowering thought. I say thought, but I want it to turn into a new empowering belief.

Give it a new thought, and you meditate on that thought so that it becomes an empowering belief. I want you to say it out loud. Say it in front of a mirror. Do it for at least seven days, saying it out loud, because that thought is going to become a belief. I want you to repeat this action on a weekly basis until you have tackled all of your limiting beliefs.

Feeling uncertain isn’t a sign of failure. It’s not a sign of stopping when you do make a mistake or fail. It’s often a sign that you are growing and that things are happening. It is a sign that you are figuring out what truly matters to you. That’s the sign. Every step you take to remove your limiting beliefs, no matter how small it is, even if they are micro baby steps, those steps count.

I want you to get into action. Why? With society’s rigid expectations and endless opinions, self-expression, self-appreciation, and limiting beliefs, all of that can feel challenging and daunting. Most of the time, what do we do? We push it down. We push it to the side. We dumb it down. We act like it’s not there. We hide who we are. We go along for the ride for the sake of it.

You are you unapologetically, and that means being true to who you are. That means being true to how you were created and not allowing anyone. You’re like, “I don’t care who they are.” You are not allowing their opinions to affect how you show up in life, at work, or in your relationship. People are going to talk. They’re going to talk about you. They’re going to talk about me. People will never stop talking. What you don’t have the time to do is to be intimidated by the pretense of others and think less of yourself. You don’t have that time for that.

Recognize these limiting beliefs that are causing you to dumb down and think less of yourself. When you show up without pretense and hesitation, that light that you have that is yours uniquely, the world can’t dull that glamor. They can’t. They’ll try. If you allow them to, they will. Most importantly, you’ll be inspired to shine your light. Shine it. When you shine your light, you are sharing yourself. You are sharing it. You are sharing who you are. When you’re sharing who you are, you’re helping others to tap into their own brilliance. That’s what’s important.

Put an end to all the disparaging mindsets and all the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. Put an end to it and begin to own your authentic self because you are you unapologetically. Join me here in a safe place where I initiate this conversation about you being you. This is what this is all about. I want you to be you unapologetically and not hold back because there’s no one better at being you than you.

Thank you so much for joining me on the show. If this episode touched your heart or rang in your ear for some reason, do the work, but not only that, share it with someone else. Let them know how this helped you. If both of you are in the same boat, or maybe this is one of your negative friends, I don’t know, but no judgment, share it with them. Keep showing up. That’s what’s important. Most of all, I want you to keep being you. Don’t stop being you unapologetically. That’s it for now. See you next time. Ciao.

Important Links

• How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Feel Enough
• Dr. Kim R. Grimes on LinkedIn
• Dr. Kim R. Grimes on Instagram