We’ve all heard the phrase ‘step out of your comfort zone,’ but what does that really mean? When you hear the term ‘comfort zone,’ do you think of a cozy routine or the predictability of everyday life? What if I told you this mental space can also be a holding cell? Joining me in this conversation is relationship coach Todd Payne to discuss why your comfort zone could slowly choke your growth, dim your ambition, and keep you stuck in repeating cycles that no longer serve you. We break down practical tips on pushing your limits without overwhelming yourself to get out of this box and experience a personal transformation like never before. Todd also explains how to recognize your partner’s comfort zone to maintain a meaningful, open, and long-lasting relationship.
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Is Your Comfort Zone Holding You Back – How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone With Todd Payne
If this is your first time with us, thank you. Welcome. We’re digging into a deep question. Not only is it deep, but it’s powerful. Are you ready for it? Is your comfort zone holding you back? Let’s get real for a second. Your comfort zone sounds comfortable. It’s predictable. It’s safe. It’s that space in your life where you know what to expect, and you don’t feel challenged or afraid. Come on. You know that place. Stop playing. Comfort zones, we all have one, and some of us have multiple.
Here’s the thing about your comfort zone or my comfort zone. Here’s the thing about all of our comfort zones. Growth never happens. That is why we are here, because we’re going to talk about what the comfort zone is, why it feels so hard to leave it, what staying in it is costing you, and how you can start stepping out of your comfort zone in a way that feels authentic to you.
This episode isn’t about shaming you into action. Not at all. It’s not about judging you either. It’s about showing you that when you are unapologetically you, it includes taking risks, trying new things, and sometimes doing the scary stuff. Do it afraid, even when your voice shakes. That’s it. Why is this so important, our comfort zone? It matters so much because comfort zones are sneaky. They show up as habits that feel safe, like staying in a job that doesn’t inspire you, avoiding tough conversations, not launching the business that you’ve been dreaming about, or not applying for opportunities that present themselves.
Staying in your comfort zone feels safe. It’s familiar to you. You know exactly what to expect. What’s often invisible is the cost of staying in your comfort zone or the cost of staying there. Before we know it, we’ve become spectators in our own lives. We’re watching my life, your life, our lives pass us by. The magic in life happens outside of what is familiar to you. That’s when life happens. It happens outside of your comfort zone. I’m not going to be the only one sharing some wonderful insight. We have a fabulous guest who’s going to give us some amazing insights as well. How about we go ahead and introduce our guest? Here it goes.
We’re in this part of our show where I get to introduce you to my guest. Here we go. I’m joined by a phenomenal guest, an amazing relationship coach who is going to share his insights on human behavior. I can’t wait. Here it goes. Our guest is a seasoned relationship coach with over 25 years of experience, specializing in self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the Enneagram. He’s going to tell you more about that. Wait.
His unconventional journey from ministry to coaching has given him unique insights into human behavior, which he uses to help individuals and couples achieve lasting transformation. After a life-changing sabbatical and a devastating wildfire, our guest relocated to Portugal, where he thrives as an emotional intelligence coach.
I’m not done. He continues to guide clients towards profound, personal, and relational growth, drawing on his extensive experience and deep commitment to helping others. Our guest is someone that I can’t wait to bring on because of what he does. Do me this favor. Please help me welcome Todd Payne to the show. Welcome, Todd.
Thank you so much. Thank you for that enthusiastic introduction. I can’t help but feel good after hearing you describe me in those ways. Thank you so much for having me and for being here. It’s an honor. It’s a pleasure.
Thank you for being committed to helping others transform. That’s important. You are a champion. Our readers will know how much you are a champion in self-awareness and emotional intelligence. You’re going to tell us a little bit more about that Enneagram, right?
That’s right.
Relationship Coach Todd Payne
Thank you for being here. I know your plate is full and your schedule is busy, so I’m honored and grateful. With that, I usually ask my guests to share how we met. Since this is our first time meeting each other, please share how we got connected.
It turns out we have a mutual friend. When this person found out that both of us have been through a life with setbacks, challenges, and struggles, but found ways to be grateful, persevere, grow, and discover what we’re capable of, it was natural that she brought the two of us together. She said, “You guys need to have a conversation because you’re on the same page about a lot of stuff. It’ll be a dynamic conversation.” That’s how we came to connect.
Why Leaving The Comfort Zone Is Hard
We all know that you’re here to share about our topic. Is your comfort zone holding you back? You’re here to share how to get out of your comfort zone. Let’s jump into this juicy discussion. Let’s do this. Let me do this first. Let me ask you this, and then we’re going to take it from there. Share with our audience how you define the comfort zone in the context of self-awareness and personal growth.
That’s a great question, and not a small one, is it? The comfort zone is an elusive thing to define because it’s not fixed. As we grow, we expand, but then as we gain those new talents, new skills, and new experiences, and they become more comfortable, our comfort zone shifts. You could say it’s the edge of newness.
My wife and I were both ministers for many years. She used to say, “If you feel like something is out of reach and you might be able to do it, but you don’t want to do it, it is probably the Holy Spirit.” There’s something about the comfort zone idea that it’s not way out there, like, “Let’s win a gold medal at the Olympics.” It’s right beyond what we’ve already mastered. It’s uncomfortable. If it isn’t uncomfortable, then you’re not outside of your comfort zone, right?
Yes. In my concept or my thought, in my comfort zone, I’m comfortable here. When I’m outside of it, it is exactly that. I’m uncomfortable. Either I’m afraid to go out there or get out of my comfort zone. Tell me. Why do you think it is so hard for people to leave their comfort zone? I get it because there was a time when I didn’t want to. What is it that would you say is holding them back?
There are probably two things that hold people back 90% of the time or more. Those are fear and pain. It’s pretty simple stuff. It’s deep and complicated, but in the end, it’s quite simple. What keeps us where we are is the fear that change means things are going to be worse. That’s a false belief because the only way things can get better is through change. Sometimes, things get worse, and sometimes, things get better. When we believe it’s inevitably going to be worse, that holds us back. The very name of the thing is comfort. I like to say, “I love having gone to the gym.” I don’t like going to the gym, but I love having gone to the gym.
What keeps us where we are is fear. The only way for things to get better is through change.
I get that. On that concept of working out, I don’t feel like going, and I don’t want to go, but once it’s done, I’m glad.
That’s what being outside of your comfort zone is like. There’s never a good time for pain or for difficulty, but without those things, there isn’t that growth or that forward movement.
Stepping Out Of Your Comfort Zone
We all have comfort zones, right?
Yeah.
I would say that I have multiple. I can probably find a closet or a corner. Share with me and our audience a personal moment when you stepped out of your comfort zone. What came of it? What was the result of your stepping out of your comfort zone?
Let me share two related stories here where I stepped out of my comfort zone quickly in succession. The first was not a choice. The first was thrust upon me. I lost my home in a wildfire along with 1,000 other homes back in December of 2021 in Colorado. I was out of my comfort zone. We didn’t own anything. We were living in my brother’s basement. This is my family and my dogs. It was, “What are we going to do with ourselves?” A lot of people got angry. A lot of the people who lost their homes tried to immediately be like, “How do we get back to where we were the day before the fire?”
My wife and I are like-minded, which is wonderful. We said, “Maybe this means it’s time for something new. Maybe this doesn’t mean how do we go back, but how do we go forward.” That was our response to being pushed out of our comfort zone. The next thing that we did was move to Europe. That was an enormous step outside of our comfort zone because of a new language, new systems, new culture, etc., but that one, we chose.
In both instances, we were able to fall forward, if you know what I mean. There were mistakes and missteps. We were sitting on our porch, overlooking the city, and saying to one another how much our lives are better here. What you have may be good, but there may be better. Often, what we have isn’t good, but we’re still afraid to go outside of our comfort zone. Even if we are not getting our needs met or even if we’re not feeling loved, fulfilled, or whatever, outside of our comfort zone is where good things lie.
There were two things that popped up as you were speaking. One was when you spoke about people getting angry. That is something that we do. We get mad, I can relate to that. My readers know that at a young age, I was a widow. That’s what I did. After that traumatic incident, I got angry. It’s a part of our human nature. I was able to relate to that when you said that.
How To Get Out Of The Comfort Zone
The other thing that I heard is, as we’re in this space, whether it’s good for us or not, but especially if it’s not, we tend to want to stay in it. In my mind, it made me think of being stuck in it. What practical steps can you suggest to someone who knows they’re stuck, but they feel overwhelmed, they’re afraid of change, or they’re frozen in place? Share some practical steps. I know you have some.
I do. What I have found is that the best way to think about our comfort zone, if we want to attack it, break it apart, and not let it cage us the way that it can, is to think about it in terms of patterns. The brain loves patterns. It loves to do the same thing over and over again. In fact, it loves to automate these things. If you’ve ever driven home from work, pulled into the driveway, and not remember driving home from work because you’ve done it so much that your brain automates it.
Practically speaking, to break out of our comfort zone, the first thing we have to do is learn to see the bars that are caging us in. Often, we don’t even see the bars. That is where the Enneagram that you mentioned in my introduction comes in. The Enneagram is an ancient system of personality that is not about the way you behave on the outside. It’s not about the external things you say or do. It’s about the internal narrative that we all have running all day long about who we should be, what other people owe us, what we’re supposed to do, and the way the world ought to be.
Comfort Zone: To break out of your comfort zone, the first thing you have to do is to see the bars putting you in a cage.
It helps us to spot these patterns, the patterns of thought, patterns of feeling, where we’re like, “Every time this happens, I feel this way. When I feel this way, I react that way,” and patterns of action. When we can recognize our patterns, that is when we can see the bars that are holding us, and then we can start to take the steps necessary to change those patterns.
I love the metaphor you used of the bars to help you see patterns. First, you have to see the bars that are keeping you in that space. I never thought of bars because my thing is I’m not doing anything that’s going to require me to go to jail. I don’t want to go to jail because of the bars. As you said that, I was able to visually see and imagine the bars that are there and how you tied it into recognizing the patterns, because that’s how we think all the time. That is so helpful. Tell me this. Once I recognize these patterns or recognize these bars, and it’s to help me, I see it as self-awareness. How can developing these self-awareness patterns help someone else move beyond their limits? I see the bars, and I’m frozen. I’m like, “What do I do next?”
It’s a scary moment in the process when we see the bars. I don’t know if you remember those crazy 3D images that look like random print, but then your eyes unfocus, and then they appear. There’s a moment like that with my clients. It’s often scary because when you see the bars, you go, “Is there any way out of this? Now I know how trapped I am.” There is.
The way forward in the Enneagram is that the first thing we remember is that all of our personality characteristics and all of our personality traits are value-neutral. Sometimes, they serve us very well. Sometimes, they get us in trouble. It’s the same traits. What we want to learn to do, and I won’t say break them, but I’ll say melt them, soften them, or turn them into something that becomes part of us that we can use, is to recognize when one of the patterns is coming, and then we learn how to counterbalance. Let me tell a little story as an example.
Comfort Zone: All of our personality traits and characteristics are value-neutral. They either serve you very well or get you in trouble.
Please.
My wife came home from work and said to me that she had an awful day because her boss had yelled at her. I’m a very heady kind of guy. My response was, “Did you fill out a form for HR so that they know that your boss yelled at you?” What I should have said was, “Would you like a hug? Can I pour you a glass of wine? Tell me what’s going on.”
What I have learned to do over the years is recognize when my brain kicks into overdrive, problem-solving mode, analysis, or breaking things apart and saying, “We’re going to figure this out.” I learn what it feels like in my body when that happens. When I catch myself with that feeling, I stop and go, “What might be another way to respond in this situation that is more appropriate to the needs of the situation?” I have a knee-jerk reaction, and I learn how to counterbalance or lean in the other direction and bring myself to a more centered place in order to respond genuinely and meaningfully.
What popped into my head as you said that was to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Empathy.
I get you. I understand what you’re saying because my response would’ve been your response, like, “What are we going to do about this?”
“How are we going to fight this?”
By putting myself in that position or myself in their shoes, I am allowing myself to think, “How can I support that person in that space that they’re in right now?” What I’m thinking is, how do I meet them right there where they are? That’s something that is big for me. I want to meet you where you are and not drag you along or push you forward. That’s what I heard.
Recognizing Your Partner’s Comfort Zone
You have touched on the key concept. We’ve talked about comfort zones and growth, but in truth, empathy is the anchor of all that. Empathy may be the second most powerful transformational force in the world. When we experience it, we are changed. One of the things that the Enneagram does and one of the ways I use it uniquely with couples, instead of with individuals, is by giving you a sneak peek behind the curtain of your partner’s world.
Empathy may be the second most powerful transformational force in the world. When we experience it, we are changed.
How do they see the world? How do they process it? What is their inner dialogue? What are their natural reactions and responses? When we understand where our partners are coming from and why they are the way they are, there’s this natural outflowing of empathy. There’s this blossoming of empathy between people. That enables personal transformation on both partners’ parts, but also the transformation of the relationship.
That Enneagram sounds amazing. The thought of getting a peek behind the curtain, not only in my life, but in my husband’s life, is spectacular. I would say yes to that all day long. What I recognize is that we’re unique, different human beings. We do not think the same. There are no ifs and buts about it. Also, what I hear is recognizing their comfort zone as you’re recognizing your own comfort zone. That’s what popped into my head as well, as you were sharing that.
What I’m saying is to be able to stop and pay attention to that, or be present in that space where I am recognizing their comfort zone. It’s like when your wife came home and said what she said. That wasn’t comfortable for her. She didn’t appreciate that at all. What I got is that you took my route, but what you also said is that it pushed her out of that comfort zone, and she was able to meet her needs at that point.
I’ll throw another word out here, too. When we’re talking about relationships in particular, there’s another zone, and that is the zone of safety. Being vulnerable with your partner, criticizing them in a way you think might hurt them, hearing criticisms of you, or naming some of the issues that you know are there but don’t want to name because then they become somehow more real, all of that requires safety between us.
One of the things that comfort zones can do is erode safety zones. After years of being in a relationship, we start using shorthand. We make a lot of assumptions. Shorthand and assumptions can make the safety zone very small, dangerous, and treacherous. We have to recognize there’s more going on here than comfort because before we can be comfortable, we have to feel safe.
You are so on point. You said safety zone. I call it a safe space. We’re singing the same song, we’re on the same tune of music, and we’re starting that same verse. I’m with you. What I wanted to say is that with the safe space, I’ve shared it here on the show before with my husband. I want to go over that quickly. It was only three questions. Between him and me, we reserve all judgment. There are no repercussions. In other words, what he says to me, I’m not going to take it and throw it back in his face.
The other is called unconditional love, but because that’s hard for us to visualize, I call it respect. It’s called respecting each other. Whatever it is that they say out of their mouth, whether we like it or not or agree with it or not, it’s mere respect. As you talked about safety and it being a road, I wanted to throw that in so that we can get a clear vision of how it goes away. When we’re judging each other, throwing stuff back in each other’s faces, and disrespecting one another, that’s how that safety zone or safe space gets eroded.
I love that.
This is so juicy.
If I can springboard off that, I feel like we could call those colors that we want to paint with. I would also offer a canvas to paint on. What I find is that in any relationship, there is logistics, there is some conflict, and there is some business to tend to. That’s the nature of being in a relationship. If we only see each other for one hour a week, we’re going to use that hour to talk about gripes and business.
The canvas I always invite the couples I work with into is to do nothing together or do dumb things together. Go bowling. Go shopping. Have dinner. Watch TV. Parallel play on your phones together. If the hours spent are 10 hours and we have 1 hour of business, logistics, and gripes to deal with, it won’t hurt as much, it won’t be as scary, and it won’t feel as heavy because it’s in this larger context of time spent together connection that we have with each other.
I love it. I’m going to say this, and then we can begin to wrap up. One of my favorite things is when I ask my husband, “What do you want to do?” and he says, “Nothing.” I’m like, “Yay.” Our nothing is what we spend most of our time together. He’s like, “I don’t want to do anything. I’ll sit here and look at you.” I’m like, “Yay.” When you said that, it made me think of that as well.
Building The Muscle To Do The Hard Work
What I would like to ask you about is, what about that muscle? This is someone who’s in their comfort zone, and they find themselves stuck in the comfort zone. They’re stepping out, but how do they build that muscle? How can they start building that muscle when they recognize the bars and they’re melting the bars, but then they see some more? Share, please.
The key is feedback loops. We have to feel like we are making progress. We have to feel like the things we’re doing are having an effect, or we won’t sustain them. I always start off very slowly with my clients because often, they come to me with a very big problem. They’re like, “This is urgent. We’re in a crisis. We’re in pain. We need to fix it.” They get frustrated with how slowly I move in the beginning.
What I keep telling them is, “If we want change that is sustainable change, then it has to be incremental change, but that has to be coupled with feedback of wins.” Small changes, big wins create momentum. That is how we begin to use that muscle. It’s like if you go to the gym and you start lifting heavy things. The next day, you’re going to be so sore that you’ll never return to the gym. You’ve got to keep it on pace so that you feel like you’re growing, but you’re not hurting. It’s not too much, too fast.
Comfort Zone: If you want sustainable change, you must do incremental work coupled with feedback of wins.
I love the idea of wins. For someone who is still intimidated by it or not sure, what would be a small win? I share with people to celebrate the small things or celebrate the small wins. It doesn’t have to be a huge win. What are some of the small wins they can celebrate?
I’ll give you an example. In my very first session with a new couple, I give them a very structured, intentional tool for checking in with one another. We begin to teach, right at the first session, some of the things that you talked about, about receiving people where they’re at and not holding things they say against them. It’s a neutral observer sort of thing.
Anyhow, after that, they come back seven days later, and we have our next session. The first thing they say to me is, “We haven’t talked this much in forever.” The checking in is already a change from the week before we began. I get right away, in that first week, this win of, “We’re tentative. We’re still scared. We don’t talk about the big things. The problems between us still exist, but we’re checking in with each other and seeing how one another is doing.” There’s already this forward movement that begins right out of the gate.
Hope: The Most Powerful Force For Transformation
From that, I would say go get some ice cream together or go take a walk together. On top of that, it is that small little win, something simple. You have been amazing. Thank you. Before I let you go, please share what is one simple action. If there is one person out there who can read this, how can they start stretching themselves and living outside their comfort zone?
You may have caught earlier when I said that empathy was the second most powerful transformative force in the universe. If anybody is reading, the one thing I always like to leave with is that the most powerful force for transformation in the universe is hope. What I would leave people with is if you’re scared, you’re stuck, or you don’t know what to do, the boldest and courageous decision you can make to get that muscle moving is to choose hope.
The most powerful force for transformation in the universe is hope. If you are stuck, the most courageous decision you can do is to choose hope.
Get In Touch With Todd
I love it. You’re such a wonderful guest and very informative. How can our readers connect with you, please?
My business is called Konnectfully. That’s what I want you to do. Connect fully. We live in a world where things can be spelled however you want to. It’s spelled with a K. Konnectfully.com. You can also email me, Todd@Konnectfully.com. I love to hear people’s stories. I am always learning and growing. One of the first things I discovered in my own personality type is that I think I know everything. It’s a part of my constant growth journey to hear from other people and learn from their stories. I would love to hear from your readers and find out about things that are working or not working for them.
There you have it. Thank you. It’s such a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for saying yes for the very first time on the show. I would love to have you back. Thank you for being on the show and sharing your story. Most of all, thank you for being you. Your story is going to, and is already, helping so many people, but I know it will help those who are reading this episode. It is because of that that I am so grateful and I’m humbled. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a real joy.
You are welcome. Let’s take a short break. We’ll be right back, so I can close out this conversation on Is Your Comfort Zone Holding You Back – How to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone. I’ll be right back.
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I’m back, everyone. Big thanks, and a big shout out to Todd Payne. I appreciate it. We appreciate all of the wisdom that he dropped. Thank you. I want to give some actual steps on how to step out of your comfort zone authentically. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how to break free of your comfort zone. Todd gave us some good examples to visualize bars. He helped us to see what it is that we can do to help us step out of our comfort zone and put ourselves out there.
What I want us to do is talk about how to break out of your comfort zone without pretending to be someone you’re not and without having to dumb down or go with the flow. That’s what I want to talk about. I want to give some real, doable steps. What I mean by that is Little League steps, step 1, step 2, and step three, because some of us need it. Some of us are at that point where we have to take it one step at a time and do it one moment at a time. We want to meet you where you are and not drag you or push you along.
Here are some real, doable steps. Step one, we’re going to start small. In other words, take a baby step and build yourself up to breaking out of your comfort zone. Take a micro risk. Take on something or things that have small risks attached. Here’s something. Speak up in a meeting. It does not have to be anything elaborate or rehearsed. For example, ask for clarity on a topic or ask them to repeat what they said instead of being quiet and not saying anything. Speak up in a meeting.
Say no to something you usually say yes to. That’s a small step. Try a new hobby or join a class you’ve been curious about. Every baby step builds your courage muscle. Step number two is to name your fear out loud. Whatever it is that you are afraid of, name it out loud. Identify what it is. What are you afraid of? Identify it. Identify your fear or fears. Write them down. Say them out loud. Journaling even helps, so does talking to someone that you trust. Find someone that you trust and want to have a conversation with, and share with them your fear out loud. Naming the fear and speaking it out loud often takes away its power. It has no power when you speak it out loud.
The third real step or doable step that I would like you to try is something similar to what Ty said. He said to visualize and see your bars. I want you to visualize the result or results. Ask yourself, “What’s the best that could happen if I step out of my comfort zone? What’s the worst that could happen, and could I survive that?” More often than not, you realize the risk is worth the reward. When you do things that will challenge you, look for the results. Visualize the results.
The fourth doable real step that you can take is to create accountability. Have the friend you shared your fears with check in with you. It can be weekly. It can be every other week. If it is a daily thing, ask them to check in with you. By doing this, they will be holding you accountable to your greatness. Accountability fuels actions.
This one I love as much as all of them. Number five is to celebrate tiny wins. Celebrate tiny wins. Don’t wait for a major breakthrough. Don’t wait for something huge to happen before celebrating or patting yourself on the back. The small wins are worth every bit of celebrating. It is what matters. Be sure to say out loud, “I’m proud of myself because I stepped outside my comfort zone. I’m proud of myself because I spoke up. I said something in the meeting today.” Small wins. Celebrate them.
Here’s what I want you to do. Remember why this topic is important. Remember why it matters. Your future is so much bigger than all of your fears. Your life is not meant to be lived in neutral or going with the flow because you are you unapologetically, which means trusting that even your bold, messy, imperfect efforts are well worth it. It’s worth it. There’s a life outside your comfort zone waiting for you, and you deserve to experience all of it. Every last ounce of it.
Here’s what I’m challenging you to do. Pick one thing that you’ve been afraid to try. Whether it’s big or small, pick one thing and commit to doing it. Don’t wait until Monday. Don’t wait until Saturday. Do it. Start now. Mark something on your calendar so you don’t forget. Maybe it’s applying for a job that you talked yourself out of, sending a message, joining a group, going to the gym, or saying what you feel.
Whatever your edge is, go to it. Don’t leap over it. Take a step, then say to yourself, “I am proud of myself. I am brave enough to grow.” Stepping out of your comfort zone requires change, and it is growth. Here’s what I know. I know this. I know your comfort zone is safe, but it’s also limiting. I know fear is natural, but it doesn’t have to be the driver of your life. I know growth happens outside of predictability. I know you don’t have to change overnight, but start with one choice or one action. Be sure to be stretched, or can we call it change?
You are you unapologetically means you trust your evolution. You trust who you are, not just your safety. That’s what you are you unapologetically means. With society’s rigid expectations and endless opinions, self-expression, self-awareness, and self-appreciation, all of that can feel challenging and daunting. Most of the time, we do exactly that. We push things down, push them away, hide, run, or go with the flow. We keep silent and do not say anything.
You are you unapologetically means being true to how you were created and not allowing people’s opinions to affect how you show up in life. People are going to talk. You know I say this at the end of every episode. You have no time to be intimidated by the presence of others and think so little of yourself. When you show up and you are you without pretense and hesitation, the world can’t dull your glamor. Trust me. I’m telling you they can’t dull your glamor. Most importantly, you will be inspired to shine your light. You will be inspired to share, support, serve others, and help others to tap into their own brilliance.
How about we agree as we do at the end of every episode? Let’s agree to put an end to this disparaging mindset and begin to own your authentic self. I’m here. Join me. I create this safe space where I initiate influential conversations about what? About you being you. That’s it. You are you unapologetically, and no one is better at being you than you. Let me thank you. That’s all I have for this episode. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. Thank you so much.
If what was shared in this episode challenged you, inspired you, or touched you, please share it with someone who you know may need a gentle push outside of their own comfort zone. We’re going to push them in love. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect. I’m not perfect. I get it wrong. I say it wrong. I may even do it wrong. I make mistakes.
Failure is a part of growing. It’s okay to make mistakes. You don’t have to figure it all out. If you’re trying to stop, you have to be willing to try, willing to grow, and willing to show up for the next version of yourself and show up for the next episode. Failing does not mean you are a failure. It says you have courage because you tried. That’s what it means. Until next time, let’s keep being you unapologetically. Ciao ciao for now.
Important Links
About Todd Payne
Todd Payne is a seasoned relationship coach with over 25 years of experience, specializing in self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and the Enneagram.
His unconventional journey from ministry to coaching has given him unique insights into human behavior, which he uses to help individuals and couples achieve lasting transformation.
After a life-changing sabbatical and a devastating wildfire, Todd relocated to Portugal, where he now thrives as an Emotional Intelligence coach.
Today, he continues to guide clients toward profound personal and relational growth, drawing on his extensive experience and deep commitment to helping others.