Today’s episode is one we ALL need to hear: Money Mistakes Women Don’t Realize They’re Making. Let’s talk about it—money. Not just budgeting and saving—but the deep stuff: how we feel about money, how we handle it, and how we might unknowingly sabotage our own financial freedom.
The truth is, many women are making small, avoidable mistakes with money—not because we’re careless or incapable, but because we were never taught. Whether it’s undercharging, emotional spending, avoiding investments, or trusting others with our finances without understanding them ourselves, these missteps are costing us more than we realize. With the help of educator and author Ayo WIlson, we unpack these money mistakes and start building the financial freedom we deserve.
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Money Mistakes Women Don’t Realize They’re Making With Ayo Wilson
I’m so glad you’re back and you are here. Welcome back to You Are YOU, Unapologetically, the space where we get real, we go deep, we show up as our full selves without shame or apology. That’s what we do. I’m your host Dr. Kim R. Grimes. This episode is one we all need to know, money mistakes women don’t realize they’re making. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about money. Not just budgeting and saving but the deep stuff. Let’s talk about the deep stuff on how we feel about money, how we handle money, and how we might unknowingly sabotage our own financial freedom.
The truth is many women are making small avoidable mistakes with money. Not because we’re careless or incapable. Not at all, but because we’re never taught whether it’s undercharging, emotional spending, avoiding investment or trusting others without finances and without understanding them ourselves. These missteps are costing us more than we realize. Why is this so important? Why does this topic matter? It’s because money remains one of the most powerful tools of independence and influence. Yet, many women are not taught how to manage, grow or protect it.
This leads to patterns of scarcity, undercharging and avoidance that keeps women from fully stepping into their power. Yes, it’s about our power and owning our power. It’s about me, owning me, you owning you, and being you. That’s what I’m talking about. Money plays a role in this, no doubt. Having these open conversations like this one that we’re about to do will break generational cycles, rewrite limiting beliefs and empower women all over the place to become unapologetically financially free.
In this episode, we’re diving in with a guest who knows from experience about money. Together, we’re going to unpack the unspoken habits that are blocking abundance and we’re going to talk about how we can shift into unapologetic financial power. With that, I can’t wait to introduce you to our guest. I always say this, we have a phenomenal guest. Our always fun phenomenal guests come on our show and so now, I have one for you.
I’m not going to make you wait any longer. I’m going to introduce you to our phenomenal guest. Our guest for this episode is a seasoned early childhood educator with two decades of experience serving with the District School Board of Niagara in Ontario, Canada. She is also a Published Children author and the Founder of AYOLLY, a unique brand that fuses early learning with wildness.
Doesn’t that sound exciting? Her work whether in the classroom, through her engaging books or as an entrepreneur is centered on one core mission, to Champion and elevate early education. From her culturally rich children book, meet my Africa to the innovative alphabet water bottle. Ayo designs tools and experiences that nurture curiosity, build literacy and encourage healthy habits in young minds. Please, help me to welcome and bring on our amazing guest, Ayo Wilson.
Dr. Kim, thank you for having me. You look beautiful, by the way.
It takes one to know one. Thank you, my dear. It is such a pleasure. Welcome. Thank you so much for being here. Can you please take a moment and share with our readers how we met?
How We Met: A Conference Connection
First of all, I just want to say thank you for bringing me here. I feel so honored. Thank you so much. We met in March at the Enterprising Women Conference in Nashville. I saw you. You were helping with registration. You’re so bubbly, happy and welcoming. I just loved your energy. After the conference, you reached out to me again and we have stayed connected since then.
That was an amazing conference where I got to meet a lot of women from Africa, which was so moving to me because it’s like, “These are my people.” It was just even more exciting to know that some of you were in Rhonda, Canada and all over the place. It was amazing. From that, meeting the women, I had an opportunity to go to Africa. I have to tell you all about it. It was phenomenal. Sometimes, I’m lost for words to talk about it because it was so moving. Life is impacting. Thank you for saying yes and for being here.
I’m so grateful that you’re here. With that, how about we just jump in? Let’s jump into this conversation that we’re going to have. Let me ask you this to get the dialogue going and the juice flowing. What are some of the most common money mistakes you see that women are making without realizing it? Not only women but what are some of the common things that you made without realizing it?
Diving Deep Into Common Money Pitfalls
That’s a very big question because I have made quite a lot of mistakes myself with money. I’m still learning as I go, but one major one that I noticed is not having clear financial goals. As many women were so good with the day-to-day expenses and all of that but a lot do not remember investing and retirement. What’s going to happen?
You’re not going to be 40 forever. You’re not going to be 50 forever. What happens later on? How are you playing towards the future? Another thing that I noticed is lifestyle. You just got a raise at work and then suddenly, new shoes and fancy restaurants. We know what happens when you spend as your income is rising. We are not going anywhere. I see that a lot and I’ve also been there before, to be honest with you.
Emotions And Upbringing: Shaping Our Money Habits
I love the fact that you indicated financial goals because what I found and for me, I wasn’t taught. My mother did not teach us about money. It’s something that doesn’t happen. One of the things that I had and we’ll talk about this a little bit more, too, is a limiting belief that I can’t acquire money because of my upbringing and all of that. I want to ask. Can you share about how emotions or upbringing influence our habits with money? I got something to share but I want you to share. Our emotions come into play and even our upbringing without the influence of our surroundings. That plays a part and it leads to money, so please share.
When you’re from a home, for example, that talks about money openly in a positive way as a tool to help you thrive, make goals and reach your goals. It’s very different. It does something to you. It builds confidence. Some parents even involve their children with budget making and all of that. It affects your relationship with money. It’s not something to be afraid of. It’s not something to see as a negative thing. Now, on the other hand, if you are from a home where all you hear most of the time, “We can afford this. We can afford that.” Guilty as charged. It also affects your relationship with money because you take the mindset you had as a tool.
Money is a positive tool to help you thrive and reach your goals. Share on XEven when you have, you feel like you don’t have enough because you are afraid it’s going to run out. “I’m going to run out of money.” It’s crazy. You keep trying to find more, so it does a lot. Also, maybe you’ve noticed when you went to Africa. Africans have strong family ties. Sometimes, the eldest child in the family is the most financially successful because you’re the third parent. You’re helping with the rent and raising your siblings. It’s good. It comes from a place of love. You want to be supportive but sometimes it becomes like an expectation then it becomes a burden to you and drains you. I experienced that as well. Our background can affect the way we see money and our relationship with money.
For my family, it was a single parent home. It was never enough, as you said. She never had the amount of money. It’s like, “I don’t have money. I don’t have enough.” I created the mindset of, “I can’t generate money.” It’s never enough. I was afraid of it, and I had to do a mindset shift so that I could begin to learn about money to understand what that is all about. In our American culture, it’s not like you were saying where in your culture you had to depend on a support, in that aspect. We did help but it wasn’t as strong as you said. It wasn’t expected of us as we got older. With that, I want to share how that led to me undervaluing myself. Why do you feel so many women undervalue their time, their skills or their services when it comes to money?
I feel like social conditioning plays a big role. As women, we’ve been taught not to act too much, to be cooperative, supportive and all of that. Sometimes, we are just happy to have a seat at the table. I have this opportunity, finally. I got this contract and we are not worrying about the rest. I’ve seen friends who signed contracts and did not even take their time to read through just because they were happy to be working with this company.
We undervalue ourselves. You need to negotiate. If you think that something is not right in your contract or in disagreement, you should be able to ask questions but it’s social conditioning. It takes time to get out of that. Another thing I noticed is self-doubt. Sometimes, you feel like, “I’m not qualified enough. I’m not educated enough.” You undervalue yourself that way. You’re always putting yourself down and you’re not even realizing it. You can’t speak up and negotiate because you feel like you’re not worthy enough. As I said, this is something I’ve experienced myself. Those are the things I noticed.
Undervalued: My Personal Money Mistake And How I Bounced Back
That is so amazing. All of this plays a part. All of it plays a huge part in our relationship and money. I know, for me, that it truly calls me to undervalue who I am because just that mindset and that belief that I have of, “It’s not enough,” also build into me feeling that I wasn’t enough. Can you share a money mistake that you personally made? How did you bounce back from it?
We are just going to focus on the latest one because if you want the whole list, we don’t have enough time. I got my book published in March 2024. I was just happy that I could share Africa with the world and dive into different schools. I got invited for a presentation in different places but I never charged. I will just go for free. I was just happy. We just said about undervaluing ourselves. I was just happy to be there. At some point, it was my husband that called my attention to it because sometimes I have to travel for two hours going to some place and two hours coming back.
Once in a while, I get an honorarium but it’s not consistent. After chatting with my husband, I had a sheet in my mindset like, “It’s totally okay to let them know what your rates are.” There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it might even make life easier for them so they don’t have to worry about what you have to give out at that discussion about money. Since then, thank God for my husband who brought that to my attention. You’re right.
When I go into that space, I’m not sure anyone in that room is working free that day. That’s my entire day out there not getting paid and then I have to put fuel in my vehicle and all of that. I had to take time to understand that it is okay to let people know what I charge from my business. Now I did it and everyone is paying. We all live happily ever after.
That’s it. The experience of recognizing that we can’t give the experience of giving away stuff for free because we want their feedback. We want them as customers. We’re willing to give our stuff for free but then there comes a time when we have to say, “Wait a minute.” Thank God for husbands because I have one, too.
It doesn’t even mean that maybe there’s a space that needs me there and I know I can go and they can’t afford me. That doesn’t mean, “If you don’t pay, I don’t show up.” I can still do that but I just have to understand that it’s okay because that shows I’m also valuing my work.
It’s so important. How can women who have the scarcity mindset like myself? How can we begin to shift from the scarcity mindset into an abundance mindset, especially if they struggled in the financial arena or financially before? I know it was a huge mindset shift for me. I want you to share how can women begin to move from a scarcity mindset into an abundance one when they know before them all they see is a financial struggle?
It takes time. Imagine even charging for my visits. It took my husband to sit me down and let me know that it’s okay. It takes time. I would say start by surrounding yourself with people who talk positively about money. It could be mentors or at the network or listening to shows like yours. You need to connect to certain people who will talk positively about money then count your blessings. You may not be where you plan to go yet but all the little steps, the little progress that you’ve made.
For example, I have my water bottle on Amazon. Sometimes it stays up. Whenever I get any sale because I get notification when someone buys it. Even if it’s just one water bottle, it makes me happy. I write it down because the fact that someone comes to buy something I created myself is a validation. It makes you happy. Again, if they come back again as a second time buyer, I’m like, “Hallelujah.” The little progress that we make, write it down. Have a journal.
It could be maybe getting a discount on something. It’s progress. You could have paid like $50 for you. You were able to get a discount for $20. That’s a financial breakthrough for me. Maybe you were able to pay off this loan. That’s a financial breakthrough for me. You need to write down all the little progress we make along the way because it’s not going to happen overnight. Celebrate the little progress and keep going.
I hear you say and take baby steps. It’s not going to happen overnight. Although it requires a mindset shift like what you said, you have to think differently. Also, in thinking differently, surround yourself with people, as you said, who think positively about money. I love the fact that you said celebrate the baby steps. That’s what I heard you say, write down when you see it because sometimes, we don’t see it. We’re just in it. We’re just going and going and we don’t see it. We don’t stop and take an assessment.
Shifting From Scarcity To Abundance: Daily Habits For Financial Empowerment
That’s what I hear you saying. After you write it down and you’re paying attention to it, when you do see that you got a discount, as you said, celebrate that. When you pay off a loan, celebrate that. I’m all for celebration. I’m just saying it. I love to celebrate. I get that. Let’s bring it to a day-to-day or a weekly type of habit in a sense. Can you share maybe a few daily or a weekly habit that you have that you can recommend to women so that they can stay intentional and empowered with money?
Number one, before you make that big purchase, check your account balance. Check what you can afford. Cut your cost according to your size. Not because my friend is carrying a Gucci bag. I want to carry one. You know you can’t afford it.
Before you make that big purchase, check your account balance. Share on X
I love Coach bags, but I got you.
I can’t afford it yet so I don’t even go to those stores. You need to check what you have, “Can I afford it?” Before you make that decision. Don’t be emotional when it comes to spending. You have to check. Another thing about an account is not just checking if you can afford it. Check your transactions. Some years ago, and this is a true story. I wasn’t that person that is going to my online banking and check what came out and came in. Even if I wanted to check for specific information or see my past work. To me, it’s too much work like going through every detail.
One time, I went into my account and something caught my eyes. I was like, “What’s going on?” I saw the name of this company and I was like “What company is this?” They’ve been removing money for my account for eleven months and I did not know that. I’m telling you. I kept going back. I’m like, “What?” I felt ashamed of myself. For eleven months, I didn’t even realize that. I had to go to my bank. My children were young then. They didn’t do that. My husband was not even aware of the company, so how did it happen?
Sometimes, on the internet, maybe I clicked something by accident. I can’t explain anything now because it’s the service I never used, anyways. I had to go to my bank and they were able to get it back for just three months of this payment. For the rest, we could not do anything about it. Every day or weekly, make sure you check because something funny might be happening and you’re not even aware of it. You just feel like, “I’m getting poor and poorer,” but you don’t know why. You need to take your time. It’s very quick. Maybe before you sleep at night, or if you want to do it weekly, it’s okay. Make sure you check that account for these transactions and then check that account before you make any big purchase.
I’ve heard of that situation happening. If I’m not mistaken, I’m quite sure it occurred to me as well. There’s been a time because now I do check. I do pay attention and make sure. They made it easier for us because a lot of the things are online. When I say a lot of things, a lot of our bank accounts and things like that are online. It is easier for us to log in and to look. I’ve always been the person who likes to have the bill in my hand so I can look at it.
I’m going to be moving away from that. When mail comes, it’s like this thing. I just get a couple of envelopes because I have moved from paper bills to online. Plus, I want to save a tree because we can save the planet. This is phenomenal. What I would like to do is give a key takeaway for our readers. If there is one financial truth that you wish every woman knew, what would it be?
The #1 Financial Truth Every Woman Needs To Know
I would say we should understand that if you do not take charge of your money, it’s going to control you.
You got to say that again.
If you don’t take charge of your money, it’s going to control you. We have to be intentional like every little decision that we make and every step that we take like setting financial goals and all of that. We can change your future eventually but you have to start somewhere and you have to be intentional about it. It just doesn’t happen overnight. Abracadabra. You’re financially capable of everything. You have to take care like, “I’m going to take charge of my finances, my money because I won’t let it control me.” You start by taking those baby steps. Start with having a goal and it’s going to turn around for you, but you have to be intentional about it because it doesn’t happen just like that.
It doesn’t fall out of the sky or my mother used to always say, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
We wish, but it doesn’t.
I truly appreciate your valuable feedback and the wisdom that you shared. Can you please take this moment and share with our readers. First, I want you to tell them more about your book. I want them to learn more about your bottle that I talked about and you touched on it a little bit. Also, tell them how they can connect with you if they want to reach out and tap into more of your wisdom. Before you even start, please feel free to share your website, your email address, your LinkedIn and any social media platforms. If you want to share your telephone number or whatever. Please, all of that. It’s up to you.
I wish I could wear so many hats like you. I already said it. I work with the School Board in the kindergarten room. Also, my children’s book, Meet My Africa, a book that I wrote because my students have so many questions about this beautiful continent. It’s available anywhere books are sold like Barnes and Nobles, Indigo and Amazon. I believe if it’s introduced to children from a very young age to diversity, they grow up to be more accepting and caring adults. I made that book to introduce them to Africa. My water bottles are also sold on my website and also on Amazon. My website is www.AyOlly.com. I’m also on Instagram as @AuthorAyoWilson.
This has been a pleasure. I just want to say thank you so much for saying yes to our invitation to come, share, give value and share your wisdom.
You’re welcome. You make me feel comfortable. This is my first time, by the way.
Nobody knew. It’s okay. You did a wonderful job.
Thank you so much for having me.
You’re welcome. My audience, I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere.
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Until Next Time: Honoring Your Money And Yourself
That was powerful. Thank you, Ayo Wilson for being our guests as well as for your transparency. Thank you for your wisdom and your practical insight. This conversation is not only a wake-up call but it’s also an invitation. Let’s recap some of the takeaways from this particular episode like some of the juicy stuff. Women are unintentionally losing money because of habits rooted in fear, in self-doubt and in the lack of information. When you want to be informed, emotional regulation. I had an episode on emotional regulation but here, I’m using it to say it is the key in financial decision-making, undervaluing ourselves and undervaluing our worth. That’s not humility at all. It’s financial sabotage.
You don’t need to be perfect with money. You just need to be present and intentional with it. Most of all, let’s not have the fear of money for that mindset that there’s not enough or we’re not enough. These are some things that you can do. This is what I want you to keep in mind but I want you to do some things right this moment. What can you do? I’m always going to give you some action steps. The first thing I want you to do is track every dollar you spend. Ayo said it. She said, “Pay attention to your account. Pay attention to your transactions.” Pay attention to that. Track every dollar that you spend for the next 30 days. Make a commitment because awareness is everything.
You don’t want eleven months to go by. Ayo shared how eleven months went by and she did not know that money was coming out of her account. She was only able to recover 3 months of those 11 months. Awareness is key. Set a weekly money date with yourself where you’re reviewing your finances. If a week is too much for you, do it every other week. Check in with your goals. Are you meeting your goals? Remember Ayo said, “Write things down.” Are you checking your goals? She also said celebrate them, too.
Write them down, check in with them, reflect on how your money is flowing and celebrate the baby steps. Start charging what you were worth. When it comes to you selling your products, you are more than enough. I need you to start charging what you are worth unapologetically. Don’t owe anyone an explanation or apology for what you charge and what you feel you rightfully deserve for the service that you provide. Do the math and own your value.
That’s what I want you to start doing now. This is what you can do. Why? It’s because societies rigid expectations and endless opinions, self-expression and self-appreciation can feel challenging and daunting. Most of the time, what do we do? We push things away. We dumb down. We want high and high. We don’t want to address and deal with it. We just go with the flow but you are you, unapologetically. That means being true to who you were created to be and not allowing people’s opinions to affect how you show up in life. People are going to talk about you. They’re going to talk and talk.
Let them talk because you have no time to be intimidated by the presence of others and think little of yourself. When you show up without pretense and hesitation, I’m telling you. The world can’t dull your glamour. They’ll try but they can’t. Most importantly, you will be inspired, empowered and moved to shine your light and share your light and help others to tap into their own brilliance. Let’s all agree to put an end to this disparaging mindset and begin to own your authentic self. Let’s do that.
Join me here for another episode in this safe space where I initiate influential conversations about what? About you being you because you are you unapologetically. No one is better at being you than you. No one. Thank you. Thank you so much, Ayo, for being here, for joining and sharing your wisdom and your value. We honor that you were here. To my readers, if this episode resonated with you, which it should or someone that you know, share it with them.
By having open conversations, remember we break generational curses and generational cycles. We rewrite limiting beliefs and we empower women. We empower you, me, and everyone to become unapologetically financially free. That’s what this is all about. Until next time. Take care of yourself. Honor how we feel about money. Honor it and don’t fear it. It’s okay. Honor how we handle it and how we might unknowingly sabotage our own financial freedom. With that, I want you to keep being you unapologetically because no one else can. I promise that. Ciao for now. Bye.
Important Links
About Ayo Wilson
Ayo Wilson is a seasoned Early Childhood Educator with two decades of experience, currently serving with the District School Board of Niagara in Ontario, Canada.
She is also a published children’s author, and the founder of AYOLLY; a unique brand that fuses early learning with wellness.
Her work, whether in the classroom, through her engaging books, or as an entrepreneur is centered on one core mission: to champion and elevate early education.
From her culturally rich children’s book Meet My Africa to the innovative Alphabet Water Bottle, Ayo designs tools and experiences that nurture curiosity, build literacy, and encourage healthy habits in young minds.