Finding your WHY is not a one-step journey, even for adults. Imagine how harder it is for children, especially while battling a pandemic and facing discrimination all at the same time. “Any person can explain what they do, some can explain how they are different or better, but very few can articulate why.” This is one of the excerpts from bestselling author Simon Sinek‘s book, Start with Why. In this episode, Dr. Kim Grimes gives emphasis on Simon’s ideology as she talks about the children’s struggles during the COVID 19 pandemic, especially in dealing with their mental health. Listen in as she shares her thoughts on the current situation and the discrimination that comes with it.
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Viral Stresses: The Effects Of Covid 19 Discrimination On Children
We want to empower you to be true to how you were created. It’s about you not allowing people’s opinions to affect how you show up in life. Not wasting time being intimidated by the presence of others while thinking so little of yourself. We are about not allowing the world to dim our glamour. You are you and when you show up being you, you will be empowered to shine your light, share your love, and help others to tap into their greatness.
We are here to encourage you to uncover your greatness, find your true identity, and own who God created you to be because you owe no one an apology for being your true self. You won’t find anyone better at being you than you. I dare you to find someone. I thank you for being here. I am truly humbled and grateful for you to share your time with me. I’m honored that you chose this show at this moment. In this episode, we are discussing the why behind the show. I’m going to share a few tools as well. Let’s get started.
Start With Why
The author Simon Sinek wrote a best-selling book called Start With Why. He states, “Any person or organization can explain what they do. Some can explain how they are different or better, but very few can clearly articulate why.” Simon said, “Why is not about money or profit. Why is about the things that inspire us, you, me and those all around us. We all have a why. We should clearly define and explain our why.” The why behind this show is to change the trajectory of teens’ and young adults’ lives throughout our world.
I moved to empower young people to walk in their greatness, stand in their brilliance, and be who God created them to be. As a change agent, I inspire young people to leap into the possibility, to do what they have never done before, and to see what they have never seen before. On our show, we will provide tools, step-by-step guides, exercises, techniques, principles and experiences for young people, so they can have a mindset shift that pushes them beyond their limiting beliefs so that they can create results that they have never imagined creating.
We will challenge your team, young adults and maybe even you to step bigger and higher than they have ever stepped before so that every person under the sound of my voice can connect with who they were created to be and live in their greatness. Now that you know the why, let’s jump into the episode. Are you ready for this? Here it goes.
Abuse And Neglect
According to the Children’s Defense Fund 2020 Report, each day in America, 5 children or teens are killed by abuse or neglect, 8 children or teens died by suicide, 9 children or teens die from accidents, 9 children or teens are killed with a gun, 20 children or teens die from accidents, 46 children or teens are injured with a gun, 121 children or teens are arrested for violent crimes, 223 children are arrested for drug crimes, 1,785 are confirmed as abused or neglected, 1,999 children are arrested, 2,906 high school students dropped out of school, and 14,206 public school students are suspended every day in America. This is based on 180 school days per year.
I’m quoting from the Children’s Defense Fund website. It states, “Since the last published their annual state of America’s children report in February 2020, our children, teens and young adults have experienced a year of unprecedented upheaval due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the racial reckoning years in the making. Every aspect of children’s lives has been impacted by these shifts more quickly than data can be tracked. Even the most recent available data sets do not fully encompass how this past year has shaped our lives. A year marked by such dramatic change and drastic negative impact on children’s lives must be followed by one of the healing and restoration coupled with bold actions.”
A Worsening Crisis
The Children’s Defense Fund sent a letter to the top-ranking senators of the finance committee. This letter was dated November 21, 2021. It stated, “We have witnessed soaring rates of mental health challenges among children, adolescents and their families over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic, exacerbating the situation that existed prior to the pandemic. Children of color are disproportionately impacted because of inequities that result from structural racism. This worsening crisis in child and adolescent mental health is inextricably tied to the stress brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic and the increasingly visible instances of racially motivated oppression and violence.”
There’s a report that was done by Kristen Rogers of CNN dated November 8, 2021. It is titled Study Finds Discrimination Of Any Kind Can Lead To A Much Higher Risk Of Mental And Behavior Issues For Young People. The report stated, “Young adults who experienced discrimination about their bodies, race and sex have a greater risk of dealing with mental health problems than those who do not. Encountering discrimination, especially racism, has long been associated with negative effects on overall well beings such as higher levels of stress, poor cognitive function, anxiety, depression and substance use, previous studies have found.
“According to a study published in the journal Pediatrics, those who face discrimination frequently, at least a few times a month, were around 25% more likely to be diagnosed with a mental disorder and twice as likely to develop severe psychological distress than people who didn’t experience discrimination or did less often. Having dealt with any degree of discrimination was linked with a 26% higher risk for having poor overall health, according to the participants’ responses.
“Often, experiencing discrimination wasn’t strongly associated with binge drinking but was linked with more use of drugs such as amphetamines, marijuana, tranquilizers, barbiturates or cocaine in 2020 without a doctor’s prescription. ‘With 75% of all lifetime mental health disorders presenting by age 24, the transition to adulthood is a crucial time to prevent mental and behavioral health problems,’ said Yvonne Lei, the study’s corresponding author and a medical student at the University of California, Los Angeles’ David Geffen School of Medicine.
Damage To The Psyche
“The findings mirror the clinical experiences of psychologist John Duffy and his colleagues, who weren’t involved in the study. Duffy said, ‘The more a young person is discriminated against, the more likely they will experience emotional difficulties, including depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues and even suicidal ideations.’ Duffy who specializes in working with teens, parents, couples and families wrote the book Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety. He said, ‘I also find that as the study concludes, substance use tends to increase with discrimination experience. Many people who face discrimination already feel some insecurities about the issue, whether it’s gender, race, age or appearance.’
“This compounds the damage to the psyche as the discrimination can serve to confirm a bias that the victim already holds about his or her worth. Additionally, sex or gender, race, age and appearance all have one thing in common. ‘They are outside the mistreated person’s control. They can’t change them nor hide from them either,’ Duffy said.”
Needless to say, COVID-19 and discrimination are taking a huge toll on our young people, emotionally and psychologically. As a change agent, I want to share some things we all can do about it. Not just me but we all can do something about it. For COVID, We have been told for the past years what we all need to do. I’m a proponent of the vaccination and booster but we eat on our own person. You have to do what you believe is right for you and your family. I respect that. For mental health prevention, I believe there are a few simple things we each can do to help prevent challenges in our mental health. It begins with a thought.
Paying attention to your thinking not only can help prevent challenges in your mental health but can also change your life. The aphorism “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he” not only embraces the whole of a man’s being but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life. A man is what he thinks. His character is the complete sum of all his thoughts. For believers and Jesus’ followers, Proverbs 23:7 says the same thing, “For as he thinks it in his heart so is he.” It begins with a thought.
Paying Attention To Your Thinking
I believe I heard Joyce Meyer say this while watching one of her sermons years ago. What she said got my attention. Ever since then, I agreed with what she said. It was the first time I have ever heard such a truthful thing being stated. Maybe you heard it too. I’m not sure. She said, “It begins with a thought. Paying attention to your thinking can change your life because your thoughts affect your belief. Your belief affects your expectations. Your expectations affect your attitude. Your attitude affects your behavior. Your behavior affects your performance. Your performance will change your life whether it’s positive or negative. Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your word. Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habit. Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character. Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.”
This simple quote got my attention. I started paying attention to my thoughts. I can honestly admit that doing so changed my life. By paying attention to my thought process, I began to realize that I had limiting beliefs, beliefs that place limits on me or my abilities such as, “I’m nothing. I will never amount to anything,” such awful thoughts or limiting beliefs that do not always come from me. They also came from other people, my loved ones, friends, families and enemies. Nevertheless, I would incorporate such limiting beliefs like, “I’m stupid, dumb and ugly. You are not smart. You think you are better than me. You are weak.”
Limiting Beliefs
I started incorporating all of these things into my belief system. Unchecked, limiting beliefs can morph into mental health challenges. To tackle the litany of limiting beliefs that I carried around with me, I learned how to do what’s called a mindset shift. It is when we acknowledge that our belief system has limiting beliefs that keep us believing something is true when in actuality, it isn’t true at all.
A mindset shift is when you do an overhaul of your belief system and toss out all your limiting beliefs because you choose to no longer accept them as a belief. The acknowledgment alone of the negative thoughts caused a shift in the way that we think, hence a mindset shift. Once the shift has occurred, I can no longer believe the way I used to believe unless I choose to. The mindset shift comes through acknowledgment but first, before you can acknowledge, we have to examine our thoughts and identify our limiting beliefs.
As people, we don’t need to be saved or rescued. People need knowledge of their own power and how to access their power. That is why as a change agent, I challenge, inspire, empower and engage people to uncover their greatness and the best of themselves, to find their gifts, passions, talents, mission, and to act upon them. We all are great. Every last one of us was created in greatness. God did not make a mistake when he created you, me and us. He knew exactly what he was doing. Here is something else I studied. The term is called emotional intelligence or emotional literacy.
Emotional literacy is a theory of intelligence involving the ability to recognize, understand and regulate emotions. It is also the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our emotions. Just as verbal literacy is the basic building block for reading and writing, emotional literacy is the basis for perceiving and communicating our emotions. Becoming emotionally literate is learning about the alphabet, grammar and vocabulary of our emotional lives. We all know emotions are an integral part of human nature. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions.
Through our emotions, we respond to life in many different ways, with anger, happiness, fear, love and loneliness. They influence our thoughts and actions, inspire our needs, affect our bodies, and impact our relationships. Many of the issues in our modern society is due to the lack of emotional literacy training. It is a preventive tool that can help solve many social ills such as bullying, suicide, drug abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and global society conflicts.
On the other hand, people who positively deal with emotions find tremendous benefit. Emotional literacy can contribute to health, positive relationships, success and quality of life. In today’s turbulent business environment using your emotional intelligence alongside your rational intelligence gives you a competitive edge. By embracing your emotional intelligence, you will be more aware of yourself, more in tune with others, and better able to create sustainable personal relationships.
Emotional literacy is universally relevant. It is a key to living a full rich life. It can transform people and relationships. It is basic to joy and fundamental to your ability to love and be loved. Emotional literacy can be learned through self-study or working with a mentor or coach. It is a profound and beautiful language available to everyone. Emotional literacy can be implemented rapidly, safely and with lasting effects.
Path To Greatness
Learning how to become emotionally literate is one of the best investments that any human being can make for themselves, their children and their future. It can benefit every individual, organization and profession. Remember, I stated that this show is about teaching our audience how to uncover their greatness, genuine passion, gifts, talents and utmost potential. I want to share with you an exercise called Path to Greatness. This exercise changed my life. I created it with some assistance.
Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I found myself being intimidated by the presence of others. I would show up with pretense and hesitation because I did not know my true identity. I was not confident in my own skin. I too had listened to others and the world dulled my glamour. It was this exercise that put me on the path to uncovering my greatness by repeatedly asking myself four powerful questions every single day.
Over time, I was able to uncover my greatness, find my true identity and walk in my greatness. Not only do I walk in my greatness now, I live in my greatness every single day. I love every minute of it. The Path to Greatness exercise is a free download on my KimRGrimes.com website. It’s a simple exercise but tough to complete, especially if you have never accessed your inner core of who you are. The process of uncovering your greatness consists of four phases. These are uncover, acknowledge, own and walking.
The Owning Phase
Uncover is also known as aware. In this phase, you begin to work on uncovering your gifts and talents. In acknowledge or acknowledging phase, you are actively beginning to acknowledge your gifts and talents by sharing and speaking your gifts and talents with others. The owning phase is exactly that. You begin to own your greatness, gifts and talents just like you own the nose on your face and the ears on your head. Just like the nose and ears belong to you, so do your unique gifts and talents. Once you enter the owning your greatness phase, you will not allow anyone to take them away from you. The last phase is walking in your greatness. In this phase, you are being true to how you were created. Each phase is a process that requires time, effort and self-work.
Let’s talk about how to get on the path to uncovering, acknowledging, owning, and walking in your greatness. This exercise has two parts. In part one, you are going to ask yourself and answer 4 powerful questions every day for 7 days without duplicating any of your answers. You can only look within. You cannot look outward to find the answers. You cannot go to family members, friends and ask them these questions, get their feedback or ask them to provide any input. No assistance can be provided to you when completing this exercise.
I was first introduced to these four powerful life-changing questions in a book called No Matter What! by Lisa Nichols. There is no order to these questions, none whatsoever. You just have to ask the questions and provide the answers. Are you ready for these four powerful life-changing questions? This is what you are going to do every day. You are going to ask yourself this question in the form of a question like this, “What do I like about myself? What do I appreciate about myself? What do I love about myself? What do I admire about myself?”
For me to remember the four questions, I came up with LALA, Like, Appreciate, Love, Admire but there’s no order whatsoever. You can say Love, Admire, Like, Appreciate or Admire, Appreciate, Love and Like. This is what it sounds like, “What I like about myself is I’m determined. What I appreciate about myself is that I can get along with anyone. What I love about myself is my cocoa brown skin. What I admire about myself are my full lips. What I like about myself are my big brown eyes. What I appreciate about myself is that I’m compassionate. What I love about myself is my desire to serve others. What I admire about myself is I always see the glass as half full. What I appreciate about myself is that I’m encouraging. What I admire about myself is my integrity. What I like about myself is that I’m amazing. What I love about myself is that I’m powerful.”
To give your confidence a boost, ask the questions and say your answers in front of a mirror. Speak out loud to yourself. It’s like you are pouring into yourself. Try not to miss a day but if you do, you need to double up on the next day. If you miss three days, triple up. Part two is to continue to ask yourself these four questions but you will do it for another seven days. Unlike the first week where there’s no repeating of any answers, in this week, you can repeat just one answer. For example, if you answered, “What I love about myself are my eyes,” then you can say on another day, only in this week, “I admire my eyes.” There’s no order to answer the questions. All you have to do is follow the instructions and do the work. You can download the exercise and get started. It’s on my website.
Uncovering Your Greatness
What I know is this. After completing two weeks of uncovering your greatness, in this exercise, you will not be the same person you were prior to starting this exercise because you have initiated the process of uncovering your greatness. If you continue this exercise for another 2 weeks, for 30 days or more, never duplicating your answers, you will not only boost your self-confidence and uncover your greatness but you will also be on a solid path of falling madly, madly, did I say madly, in love with who you are. You will find your true identity. You will be crystal clear on your worth. You will know that you are valuable, important, and you matter to everyone around you and everyone in this world.
You will begin to be who God created you to be. You owe no one an apology for being your true self and you won’t find anyone better at being you than you. I dare you to find someone who can do you better than you because you are you unapologetically. I hope you enjoyed this show. Thank you very much for being here. I truly appreciate and honor your time. Please meet me here for the next episode where I will be joined by a guest. We will discuss overcoming the challenges of self-love. Thank you and bye. Enjoy. God bless.
Important Links
- Start With Why
- Children’s Defense Fund 2020 Report
- Study Finds Discrimination Of Any Kind Can Lead To A Much Higher Risk Of Mental And Behavior Issues For Young People
- Children’s Defense Fund
- Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety
- No Matter What!
- KimRGrimes.com
- https://www.ChildrensDefense.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/11.15.21-CAMH-Policy-Recommendations-for-Senate-Finance.pdf
- https://EmotionalLitPics.weebly.com/