How Can You Live With Yourself? How To Find Redemption And Start Being Present In Life With Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams

YAYU 11 | Being Present


Life isn’t just about existing; it’s about being present every day. It’s about embracing the beauty of each moment, finding joy in the little things, and savoring the experiences that make life worth living. In this episode, we delve again into the topic of “How can you live with yourself?” and explore self-reflection and self-awareness with special guest Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams, CEO and Founder of PEHR Ministries LLC. Dr. Hayes-Reams recently launched the Redemptive Brilliant Life Coaching Program and Podcast, which is dedicated to helping faith-based women working in hospice and palliative care. Dr. Hayes-Reams discusses the importance of self-reflection and understanding how to live with oneself. She explores the impact of one’s belief system and values towards how one lives with one’s self. Dr. Hayes-Reams also shares her personal journey towards self-redemption. She discusses the role of faith in self-reflection and how it can help individuals find peace and purpose. Tune in and learn a new perspective on how to live with yourself.

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How Can You Live With Yourself? How To Find Redemption And Start Being Present In Life With Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams

In the post-COVID era, I’m witnessing so much dishonesty, untruthfulness, and more. I’m quite sure you all have been witnessing it as well. Let’s jump into what we are talking about in this episode. Every day or every week, we hear in the news or read it in the newsfeed. If you are anything like my husband, he likes to listen to smart news, but here’s the thing. We find out that somebody has been found out. This person had a secret and they had something going on in the background of their life, and now everybody knows about it. It’s been discovered. They have been living a double life. They say it isn’t so but they have been.

They have been lying to the people that depend on them, their family, friends, colleagues, coworkers, and the people in their community. Now, they have been found out. They have been discovered, uncovered, or busted because they have been harboring and living with a secret. “How could they do such a thing,” you would have asked, but wait. How could they live with themselves? One might even ask, “How could they carry on for so long keeping up a charade? Can you see them?”

Picture this. Showing up for dinner and acting as if everything is normal, acting as if nothing happened, looking in their spouse’s eyes and their children’s faces. How could they betray their family and friends and their community and tribe? How could they do such a thing, knowing that one day, it may become public knowledge? Once it does, it’s going to destroy everything. It’s going to destroy their family and friends. Their friendships are going to go out the window. It’s going to undermine their career and undermine their lives. How do they live with themselves?

Here’s the thing. The reason why it’s so difficult for us, for me, and you to imagine how they could live with themselves. If we put ourselves in their situation and then think, “I couldn’t live with myself,” or, “I couldn’t do such a thing and live with myself.” We tell ourselves that our conscious and integrity would not allow us to do such a thing and continue to live with myself but here’s the truth. You could live with yourself. I could live with myself.

Think about it. If my current self is left unattended if my current inner self is neglected. I don’t go in. It’s neglected. If my current inner being does not see a better future for me, I could live with myself. My current self will live with myself despite the unhealthy version I have become. Let me get to this point. My external self, the side that people see of us, you know when it is so far away from what I am truly on the inside. It is easy for me to think, “It can’t happen to me.”

It’s easy for you to think the same thing. We think it can’t happen to us but believe it or not, it does. That’s why it happens because we believe that it won’t, and it does. In this series, we are talking about how you guard your inner self and your true inner being so that you can live with yourself. That’s what we are talking about. This series is about you living with yourself. How can you live with yourself?

Allow me to share. I’m a bonafide Jesus follower so I’m going to come up with some scripture to support what I’m talking about or give some leverage to validate what I’m saying. Proverbs 4:23 says, “We should guard our heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issue of life.” This scripture implies that whenever we allow our hearts and I’m doing this for our hearts. If our hearts are not examined, if we don’t examine or evaluate them properly, we will undoubtedly be expressed in our lives and our actions in positive and negative ways.

Talking about our heart, I want you guys to know as I’m talking about the heart, I’m going to be doing this as well because I believe this is our heart, even though we think this is our mind but things come into this first before it hits this. I’m talking about this, you are going to see me do this, and heart as well. There’s a book that I want to share. It’s called As A Man Thinketh. This book was written by James Allen, and it’s a small and easy-read book. The title is influenced by a verse also from Proverbs 23:7. It says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

We could do some thinking in our hearts, but most of the thinking we do up here. That explains why I’m doing this but hang with me. I’m not going to confuse you. I want to read a quote from this book. It says, “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. The calmness of the mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. Men are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself.”

I want to point out, even though we are saying men, we are talking about women as well. Again, in this series, we are talking about the heart. We are interchanging it to say our inner self or our inner being as well. We all know that life is not always kind. For some of us, it’s been tough and rough on us. We don’t have to live long for us to know that life is hard on our souls. When I say soul, I am talking about our interior life. I’m talking about our inner being and our heart.

You know the inside part where you fear, where you worry. You have hope, dreams, and wishes. You experience disappointment and failures all while putting on a happy face. My question with that being said, whom do people get when they get you? Who do people get when you show up when you go to work when you go to school when you are hanging out with friends, interacting with your loved ones, and spending time with your spouse and your children? Whom do people get when they get you and how do you show up?

Are you one way with a group of people and another way with another group of people? Is the person on the inside of you completely different from the person on the outside? Here’s the thing. Whether it’s our appearance, our performance, or our reputation, we attend to those outward things so much faster than we will do our inner things. Did you ask why? Here’s why. It’s because we know people are watching us. People are looking at us. People are expecting things from us. They are competing with us. They want our approval. They want acceptance. They want attention and they want to progress.

It’s important and natural to pay attention to our exterior. That’s what we do. It’s a natural thing. We all have a public life, all of us, every last one of us that’s on display but there is only one person who can be attentive to your soul, your heart, and your inner being. There’s only one person who can pay attention, be attentive and make sure they know what’s going on in your heart and your inner being.

The question goes back to this. How can you live with yourself? What are the habits you have that will ensure that the self that you are living with is the self that is on display? What are the convictions you have? What are the values and beliefs that you have that will ensure that what people see on the outside is what they are getting?

Here’s a fact. Even if you are the inner being, my inner being, and our inner beings are super healthy inner beings, if they are left unattended, they will become super unhealthy. Nothing gets better when it’s left unattended. The health of your inner being determines your capacity and ability to live with a version of yourself that you don’t like and you never desire to be.

The health of your inner being determines how wide the gap is between who you are and whom you pretend to be. It determines how far that gap can expand before you finally crack or confess or break down or be found out. The health of your inner being, your heart, and your soul has very little tolerance. The health that is, for the lack of integrity.

The healthy heart realizes when what’s going on on the inside is not reflected on the outside. What’s reflected on the outside is showing up better than what’s on the inside, the healthy heart, that inner self-knowing. It’s going to say to you. It might pull you over to the side, “We got some work to do. We got some work we need to get done.” The reason is that the healthy inner self is one. The integrity of your inside and outside are in sync.

The health of your inner being and your inner self determines how far things will go before your conscience just won’t let you pretend anymore. The health of your soul determines how willing you are to lie to others and how easy it is for you to lie to yourself. When you are no longer the self you used to be, when you are no longer the self you want to be, when you are no longer the self you always thought you would be, the true you that people can see, you are truly neglecting the health of your inner self.

Neglect the health of your inner self or your inner being and it will ultimately come back and haunt you. It will hurt you. It will hurt more specifically, the people that are around you. The people whom you love the most. Those who are important to you. Don’t fool yourself. We have the potential. You have the potential. I have the potential. We all have the potential to become someone we despise. If our inner beings are left unattended, we could become unimaginable.

If we don’t do the work, you could become unthinkable and you can live with yourselves. That’s what I’m talking about because as I said, people do it all the time. It happens all the time, and they think, “It could never happen to me. I can’t get caught. It won’t happen.” Here’s my message to you. Don’t get it twisted because the difference between those who avoid becoming unimaginable and doing the unthinkable is the health of their inner being. The health of their heart. The health of their soul. They have the willingness and the ability to pay attention, but not pay close attention to what’s going on the inside.

Let me ask you. Do you? If not, how can you live with yourself? If so, how can you live with yourself? We are discussing this topic and before we jump into the discussion, I have an amazing guest for you on this episode. Before I introduce our guest, I want you guys to remember that we work on this one topic. We have 6 to 8 guests that come in that are going to speak on the same topic.

Within our series, we have 6 to 8 episodes in the series that’s speaking to the same topic because we want different perspectives for our diverse readers, but we want different perspectives from different people. That’s why I have multiple guests and we are talking about the same topic. With that being said, are you guys ready to meet my guest?

My guest is the CEO and Founder of PEHR Ministries LLC with over twenty years as a practicing physician and ordained minister. My guest has recently launched the Redemptive Brilliant Life Coaching Program and Podcast dedicated to faith-based women working in hospice and palliative care. With that all being said, please help me to welcome my amazing guest to the show, Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams. Everybody, let’s give her a round of applause.

Thank you.

Thank you. Would you like me to call you Dr. Phyllis or just go with Phyllis?

Phyllis is fine.

Phyllis, here’s something that I like to ask all of our guests and you know the answer. How did we meet? Please share with our readers how did you and I meet.

I always give credit to God that He brought us together in our wonderful mastermind with Mary Henderson, who is our business coach. It’s been a blessing. I told Dr. Kim that as soon as I saw her come on, I’m like, “This is someone I need to connect with.” Thank you so much. It’s such an honor.

No, thank you and I am honored as well. I’m grateful. Thank you so much for saying yes to being on the show. Our acronym is YAYU but the name of the show is You Are You Unapologetically, which you know. I want to start with that because that’s the name. With that being said, I want to ask you, what does it mean to you to be you unapologetically?

You have to give me an opportunity to circle back because I was sitting here going, “Preach, sister,” and I’m letting you know that you had a word. Everything you said resonated because I have been on a journey. Although there’s been times I have gotten off the path of aligning who I am in Christ with whom I show up as in the world. It’s been an amazing journey.

I have to say that probably for the past, I think God has been trying to get my attention and flashing different messages across the sky for probably at least the past several years if not longer that he had something else for me to do. We can get caught up in these jobs. What I think it comes down to is we believe in God through Jesus Christ. We want to be like him.

Yet, as you mentioned, if we are not careful, we will somewhat morph our faith, like walking by faith into something subconsciously that’s tangible that we can put our hands on. We can feel it. It’s a thing of control. We try to control things or to have something that we can put our hand on it. I know you agree with this. There is nothing wrong with a job. Jobs are a blessing. Achievements are a blessing because they are all from God yet, we have to make sure that we continue to keep him as a center.

YAYU 11 | Being Present
Being Present: If we’re not careful, we will somewhat morph our faith, like walking by faith into something subconsciously that’s tangible that we can put our hands on.


Let me break it down. I know that God called me to practice medicine because I have wanted to be of service. I have always had a passion for older adults. I have been around them for years. When I was in school, there were lecturers on geriatrics. I was one of those who wanted to do OB-GYN. I wanted to be a surgeon but when they started talking about geriatrics and being a specialist in older adults, I’m like, “This is what I enjoy. I’m all in.” I knew I was going to go into internal medicine and do my fellowship training in geriatrics. I truly loved it.

Yet in my mind, you know that you go to college, you go to medical school, you do a fellowship, and then another fellowship. You get your feeling of worth and value in those different achievements, and there is nothing wrong with it. If you don’t nurture what’s inside, as you mentioned, and continually understand where the place is for those achievements. Now, understand, God called me to ministry. I asked him. I said, “Lord, wait a minute. Are you talking to me?”

I know that conversation. You look around and you want that pillow or that chair to come to life because you want it to be the who he is talking about. Go ahead.

I went to several other women in ministry. Even my pastor at that time, I’m like, “The Lord told me that he wants me to go into ministry.” I wanted them to say no. I wanted my family somehow to say, “No, don’t do that,” but everyone was like, “Go for it.” “You are not giving me the answer I want,” but I did that and I felt calm. That’s where I wanted to align myself, the spirit and the physical, with what I’m doing. I wish I could tell you that I had everything lined up at that time. I wish I could tell you that.

You are not by yourself because I said, “Life isn’t kind.” Some treated us rough.

I wish I could tell you that I did that, but I went to seminary. I did that. I joined the ministerial staff at my church. I did that and still, at work, I felt I needed to do more. I wanted to serve in a leadership position. I did that. Understand that all this is going on at the same time, plus I am very active in the community. I’m painting the picture so you know what was going on.

I’m volunteering in the community because that was important. God started talking to me. I understand that in the midst of this, I married and had children. I lost my dad in 2002. My mom passed in 2000 or 2001, but even before that, I would say probably in 2018 or 2019, it was almost like God was hitting a bomb, but Phyllis wasn’t getting it.

I tell God, “You know I’m slow, right?”

You are so right because other people would consider me pretty fast, but I was really slow with that. I can remember sitting in one of the administrative meetings because I’d be ripping and running. I was going to the administrative meeting and going to see patients because by then, I had evolved into doing dementia care. After my dad passed in 2002, I felt called to do hospice, which was not my original plan. I do predominantly hospice and palliative care.

Did I pronounce palliative right?

You are very good.

It’s because I’m good at chopping up words.

I can remember sitting in a meeting and all at once looking around at the other leaders in the meeting and feeling out of sorts like in a parallel universe, so to speak. I can remember that, but what do we do? It’s about us. It’s something that is wrong with us. I put that in the back of my mind and kept on running on that hamster wheel. I can remember again in 2019 when I was overstretched, overextended, and 50 pounds overweight and unhealthy.

I tell people it’s like a Forrest Gump moment where you are like, “Something is wrong here. I’m ready to stop running,” but again, I did not know how to do it because I had been on the hamster wheel and my sense of worth or looking for validation was external. It was only when God was like, “I have been trying to give you a chance to catch up. I have been trying to get you to get into the program. I have been trying to leave it to you, Phyllis, to voluntarily jump off the hamster wheel, but you are not getting it. As the loving Father I am, I am going to yank that emergency cord on that treadmill and do it for you because you are not doing it.”

It was one of those situations that were wild and he did. He slowed everything down. I was over a department with seven divisions through the first wave of COVID. I had done all that and so the Lord said, “Enough.” I came out of that position. I was like, “Okay, Lord. There’s no new goal to set because you have done everything.”

What do I do now?

There’s no rock to go hide under. The rock of achievement or goal to go hide under now. I remember sitting and I was crying because it was a situation where I had overextended for others. As I say, God has a way of saying, “No more.” With my hands going, I was like, “What do I do now, Lord?” What he said was, “You are going to stop leaning on yourself and you are going to start leaning on me because I called you for something else. You keep trying to put a period here where I only meant there to be a comma.”

It blew my mind because I realized, and I had to stop beating myself up about it because medicine is a blessing and I still enjoy doing the hands-on. I’m loving doing the hands-on with my home care team but medicine is only a means to what he has for me to do. It’s not the end. The message is that when we are in our professions, which I feel is a part of the ministry, what can I do to make where I am better? It’s because God didn’t mean for us just to go through the motions. Life is moving. You don’t get a redo.

YAYU 11 | Being Present
Being Present: God didn’t mean for us just to go through the motions. Life is moving. You don’t get a redo.


It is about setting the appropriate boundaries but you need to be in that moment and do the best that you can do at that moment without getting caught up. That was a huge wake-up call because, for years, it was all about, “I have achieved this. What do I do next?” In the midst and I praise Him for loving me so much because He could have left me on that treadmill. He could have said, “You are not getting that.” As you said, “You are slow, so just stay on there until you fall out,” and you end up like the high priest with bells starts ringing and they came to pull you up because there are too many people in medicine and I have had doctors that I know who died while they were on the job.

Here’s what I hear you saying is that when it came to you being you unapologetically for years, you were clueless. You did not know what that was because you were too busy being other things for other people so much that you overextended yourself, where you totally and completely lost your identity. You tied it to whatever was moving or whatever was next thing or was good. It’s like, “There I go. I’m supposed to be here. I’m done with this. Next. This is me here. Nope. Okay. Done. Now, I’m over here.” That’s what I hear you say in what you were sharing that this has been a long haul and for me, to ask that question, it’s like, “I want you all to know that it took me a minute to get to where I can be me unapologetically.” That’s what I hear you saying.

You are so right because we all are at different places on the learning curve. Once I did catch up and I realized that the sun would still rise and set without me doing those other tasks. I have to say for the first time in my life to not feel that I have to try to do everything but to start over. Instead of working from the outside in, but to reconnect with the inside. It’s what God has for me to do, and to put everything and everybody in the proper perspective and place in my life was a journey. It was a transformation but it’s been one of liberation and peace. You can’t put a value or price tag on it.

Now, to be able to truly be living my life unapologetically and able to start every day and say, “Lord, what is it that you have for me to do? To be able to enjoy my job because I’m a big Phyllis. I’m not worried about what somebody’s going to think because we all reach a certain age until we go dead. I have paid my dues. What’s most important is the relationships of those that are important. My thinking is important. Your relationships are important.

Now, I’m able to be present for my patients. I’m present for my team and my family because I had to go back and apologize to my family. From the outside, I was the mom driving everybody to everyday practice and doing this but I wasn’t fully present. When you are not fully present, you give your family the leftovers.

When we are not fully present and nurturing that relationship with God and being the most that he’s created us to be, which means taking care of ourselves, our mind, body, soul, and spirit, and misplaced priorities, we end up giving yourself, those most important like your family, your friends the leftovers. We deserve better and they deserve better.

The leftovers aren’t much and they are not good. I don’t care for leftovers. My husband eats leftovers for breakfast so we don’t have many leftovers here. You said something that was so on point and you connected a dot of being you unapologetically requires you to be present. That is so huge and we miss it. Even in this time, what we are sharing right now, we are present in the conversation. We are present to each other and once we are done, being present with the people and the moment, because that’s what’s important.

As you were speaking, I was thinking people say, “You live only once.” I’m like, “No. You die only once.” You live every day and I didn’t come up with it. I overheard this on CNN or somebody. They were talking about their drunk uncle or whatever. It was so profound. It’s so easy for us to say, “You Only Live Once.” It’s YOLO. That’s the acronym for it. It’s like, “No, they got that wrong. You die only once. You live every day.”

Living every day requires you to be present in that day, at that moment to the people who will cross your path. You have shared the different situations or incidents that occurred that caused you not to want to live with yourself. You have shared how not having a healthy inner being, how it impacts you and it impacts the people around you.

Recognizing it, you also have been sharing how it made your life better because you were like, “With God’s help, He got you off of that hamster wheel.” What I want to ask you is what advice would you give to someone whose outside is different from their inside? How can you help them to become healthy inside? What can you share?

No, thank you because that has been my commitment, is that anything I can do to help streamline someone else’s journey so they don’t have to be slow like I was is you first have to take care of yourself. You got to start with yourself. I’m going to say this. I’m saying I coined it or somebody has coined it. I always tell people that martyrdom is overrated and underappreciated. We need to get off of that because especially we as women.

Sometimes maybe we have seen our elders and we have our perception of what they have done or this whole idea of what we are supposed to do. Often, it comes back to us. There is something that we are trying to get from that. I would say, because I had to get myself healthy. I had to recommit to my own. It doesn’t matter. Ordained or not, I had to figure out where my spirit was and what I needed to do to nourish my spirit and connect with God on a daily basis. I had to make the commitment to get physically active and move, but I wasn’t looking for a quick fix because it doesn’t last and you are not going to do it.

You try to move each day and to be willing to do the deep work by looking in the mirror and not doing it alone because you are not alone. Sometimes when you feel that way, you look out and think everybody else is good and you are the only one. I would say that first, declare what you need to do if you are not happy with where you are at and then clarity. Get someone that you can trust to talk to. It may not be your support system that you think is your support system.

They may not look like you either.

Again, I still speak so much to women because I have a heart for women’s ministry. We have to invest in ourselves because we will invest in everybody else. We will give our last dollar to everybody else. You have to invest because God’s created you. We want to get everything he has for us. You have to work at it from all three and that’s what to me Redemptive Brilliance is about. I have gone through different versions and ideas over the years, but redemptive because of Christ.

It’s because we are redeemed through Him. This is because of what He did for us once and for all, every day we have new beginnings. Brilliance, we tend to try to cover up our brilliance. We think that we are being egotistical or prideful, but God created us. God is the reason that we are blessed and there is nothing wrong to shine. We need to stop looking for other people to validate us and to validate ourselves.

Every day, we are redeemed through Him and I’m committed to helping other women to get that dullness, get it shined up, and change their perspective, and their outlook on life. I offer in the Redemptive Brilliance my coaching program because ultimately, that’s what God has called me to do is women’s ministry. He packed my bag over the years with different experiences. I found that especially for women in fields, and I speak to my own in palliative and hospice is that we give out a lot. We have to show up for every patient and every household.

Every day, we're redeemed through Him, through Christ. Share on X

They need you to give to them in a very critical and difficult time. Can you imagine you go to six of those houses a day and you are giving out, because every patient and every household is different? Often, we feel it’s a gift that we have a patient on service for six months or longer so we can develop that relationship but too often, we get patients that are in crisis mode. Their passing is coming up soon. From the perspective of the provider, that’s a lot of energy.

To me, it is a calling. It’s not an assignment to be in hospice and palliative care. They are giving out and understand that we are still mothers, wives, sisters, and aunts. I know what I go through on a daily basis. It gets back to what you were saying about continually being in tune with who we are because this type of work can make you compassion fatigue.

YAYU 11 | Being Present
Being Present: Continue being in tune with who you are.


It can wear you out and I hear clearly what you are saying. It’s because when it comes to hospice, first of all, nobody wants to hear that word and to be in that environment still takes a lot of energy. You have to go in prepared to serve the family members that are there who already are beginning to grieve and mourn the loss of a loved one who has not been official. They have not taken their last breath. It’s a different thing because you see them there and you are wondering when.

When you show up, there are a lot of questions. What I’m saying to you is I get exactly what you are saying. As you said, this is more of a calling because everyone’s not cut out for this. What I want to do because of who you are and what you shared with us already, I would love for you to share. Please share how people can get in contact with you.

Here’s what I would love for you to do because this is a topic that touches everyone’s lives. We are not exempt. Please share how can people get in contact with you, and then, I would love for you to give your closing remarks. What is it that you would love to share with people on how they can live with themselves about managing their inner landscape so that they can be? One is how they get in contact with you, if anyone wants to get in contact with you, the readers that are reading this, and two is what is that one thing that you want our readers to take away from what it is that you are sharing on this episode.

Thank you so much. You said it all. I am so excited that we have the Redemptive Brilliance Podcast. I invite everyone to please take a listen. It’s available now on YouTube and Spotify. I’m also available Phyllis Hayes-Reams MD, MPH, MA on LinkedIn. I’m also @DrPhyllisHayesReams on Instagram and Facebook. I’m on Twitter, but I don’t do a whole lot on Twitter.

I am asking everyone to get the word out, especially women you know who are working in hospice and palliative care, home health, and oncology. For those that you know who are working in these fields that they are giving and giving, I want to start a movement across the world so that we have a community where we can come and talk together.

We are not here to talk about patients. That’s not what it’s about. We automatically understand what each other is going through and what we see. I want to focus on the person. The last question you asked, I’m going to leave you with my little nugget that martyrdom is overrated and underappreciated. We are called to be Christ-like. There’s only one Christ. We can never be Him but we are here to be like Him and that means to take care of our temple, mind, body, and soul. Thank you, Dr. Kim. I’m so blessed and honored to be on your show. Thank you for this opportunity.

There's only one Christ. We can never be Him, but we're here to be like Him and that means taking care of our temple, mind, body, and soul. Share on X

I am so honored to have you as well. Sometimes the gratitude that I feel when I bring on guests such as yourself, I sometimes can’t find the words, but thank you. I know you get it, but I am so grateful and so honored. Even though I’m not physically in your presence, to have your presence on this show, I’m honored as well.

I want to say thank you so very much and thank you for the juicy conversation for such a time as this and where we are. I love how you were able to go in and share and that’s what I wanted. I wanted you to share your journey, what’s going on, and how you got to being you unapologetically was amazing as well. I want to say thank you again and again. I truly appreciate you and we will be in touch.

Thank you.

You are welcome. With our amazing guests, I’m always asking this question and I think I will continue to ask this question. How many decisions would you say that you are away from wrecking or screwing up your life? I know that it only takes one. If you are thinking of more than that, reel it in because it’s so easy to lose yourself in this day’s clashing ideas, conflicting beliefs, and the tsunami of information that overwhelms us every day.

With society’s rigid expectations and endless opinions of self-expression and self-appreciation, it’s a challenging and daunting experience. With that being said, most of the time, such a thing causes you to dumb down and hide who you are. You just go with the flow. You just ride the wave but I need you to know that you are you unapologetically and that means being true to who you are and how you were created and not allowing people’s opinions of who you are and of what they think to show up in your life or affect how you show up.

It’s not allowing people and whatever it is that they have to say about you or they are going to say because people are going to talk. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I need you to understand that you have no time to be intimidated by the presence of others and think little of yourself. We have no time for that. You have no time for that.

When you show up without pretense and hesitation, the world cannot dull your glamor. They cannot dim your light and most importantly, you will be inspired to shine your light so brightly. You will share it and you will help others to tap right into their inner beings and their brilliance. Please, let’s all put an end to this. Let’s put an end to the disparaging mindset and begin to own our authentic selves.

We have to do that. This is a must. What I want you to do is I want you to join me here in this safe space where you guys know I’m going to initiate an influential conversation, a discussion that we are going to have about being you because I want you to be you unapologetically. No one is better at being you than you. They don’t exist. Only you exist. Stop looking for someone because they are not out there. No one is better at being you than you so be you unapologetically. Until the next episode. Thank you so much for all your time and your support. Thank you for being here. We can’t do it without you. Bye-bye.


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About Dr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams

YAYU 11 | Being PresentDr. Phyllis Hayes-Reams is the CEO/Founder of PEHR Ministries LLC. With over 20 years as a practicing physician and ordained minister, she recently launched the Redemptive Brilliance life coaching program and podcast dedicated to faith-based women working in hospice and palliative care.

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