Since the beginning of creation, our lives have been shaped by words spoken to us, over us, at us, and about us. Words, spoken and unspoken, shaped our childhood. They shape our relationships; they’ve built, undermined, destroyed, and rebuilt marriages. Words spoken to us, at us, over us, have impacted our confidence. So much so, that they determined, to some extent, who we actually see in the mirror. How heavy were the words spoken to you? How heavy are the words you speak? Your words possess a remarkable power – they can shape destinies, heal wounds, and leave an indelible mark on the lives of others.
In this engaging conversation, we explore how often we overlook the weight of our words when interacting with strangers or even our loved ones. Our guest for this episode is the brilliant Samukai Sarnor, a first-year MA student in the Department of Economics at George Mason University. Samukai discusses the immense power that words hold and the lasting impact they can have on the trajectory of a person’s life. He also explores the unspoken words that have left scars on people’s hearts and shares how our own words, when spoken with intention, can build up or tear down those we claim to love. Throughout the episode, Samukai challenges the notion that our words are inconsequential, exposing the responsibility we have in wielding our language. It’s time to confront the excuses we make for hurtful words and acknowledge the weight they carry. Join us and learn to understand the significance of our words and their far-reaching consequences. Tune in now!
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The Weight Of Our Words: How They Make You Or Break You With Samukai Sarnor
I’m so excited that you guys join us, check in with us, and leave your comments. That is so amazing, and because of it, I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who take the time out and read this blog because we know everyone is busy and things are always going on. I tell people that life happens when you’re planning and when you’re having fun. I want to take a moment to thank you guys for always being here supporting us.
We truly appreciate you, but we’re now onto a new topic. Just in case you are not returning guest and this is your first time or you missed the last episode, we are now talking about something new. As I said, for our returning guest and those who are always reading this, you know how what it is that we do here and how it works at the show. However, as I said, for those who are new, I want to give you the skinny.
That is instead of us having a variety of topics or changing our topics every week, what we do is we release an episode twice a month. I call it bi-weekly. Instead of changing it every week or bi-weekly, in our case, we invite a diverse group of guests to come in and talk about the same topic for about 6 to 8 episodes, and there’s a reason behind that. The reason is that we want to get different perspectives. We’re all different in so many ways and I want to make sure that our readers are receiving something from our guests that we’re bringing on.
When you’re reading, you may not relate to the guest that’s on, but I guarantee you that between the 6 or 8 guests that we do bring on to discuss the same topic, you are going to get something. That’s why we like to call it our topic series and that’s what we do. The objective is to get different perspectives from different guests so we can reach and support our diverse audience. I have something awesome for you in this episode. We’re going to talk about something that we don’t give a lot of weight to in a sense and I want to have this conversation. With that, let’s get the ball rolling. Let’s go ahead and do this and jump right in. In the last episode, I introduced the new topic series and we went in on it as I did.
I went in on it and laid it out. If you missed it, you want to go back and check it out because it lays the groundwork for the next conversations we’re going to have with our guests. If you missed it, definitely go back and check it out so that you can have the meat of what it is that we’re talking about. Here it goes. When it comes to strangers, first-time acquaintances, or people you do not know, what do you say to them? What do you say to them besides a mere hello or how are you doing? Do you speak at all? Do you ignore their present? Do you strike up a conversation with them or do you ignore them?
I’m asking the questions here. If you do strike up a conversation, what do you say and do you watch the words that you use? When it comes to an intimate relationship, and when I say intimate, I’m not talking about an intimate relationship as somebody that you know or somebody that you go around hugging. I am talking about how they’re more intimate with you than a stranger. That’s what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about people who are not a stranger in your life. People that you know and they know us like our family members and friends. You know the people that you love. That’s what I’m talking about. Those people that you consider your best friends and those that are in your inner circle. What do you say to them? Do you watch your words or do you say anything with no thought whatsoever? Do you allow anything to come out of your mouth?
Here’s where I’m going with this. Words, your words, my words, and words in general, we know they are very powerful. In our discussion for this episode and the next couple of episodes, it’s about how powerful words are and how you use them and I use them in the world. How do I use them with the people that I’m around or around me?
As I said, words are very powerful. We know that the more intimate the relationship, the heavier words can become and the greater the capacity to hurt, wound, leave a mark, or scar, even words left unsaid. Unsaid words, phrases, and statements have the potential to impact the trajectory of a person’s life. I’m a witness of youth, college students, single adults, and adults with families and children being in tears because of a phrase or a statement they never heard from their father like, “I love you. I’m proud of you. You’re so important to me. Great job.”
Words that they would give anything to hear their mother say, “You are valuable to me. You matter to me. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” In fact, unspoken words have as much impact as spoken words on our lives. My point is simply this. Words are powerful and words carry weight, which leads me to ask a question, “How heavy are your words?” Do you pay attention to the weight of your words?
Because I’m a Jesus follower, I like to use biblical scripture to support my point or points, but here’s the thing. You don’t have to be a Jesus follower or know Jesus or be a Christian. You don’t have to do any of that or be any of that to get the point that I want to make and that I’m making with our topic. As I said, let me use what I used to anchor my point. I pull them out of the Bible because they support what it is that I’m saying.
Ephesians is a book in the New Testament. For those who are Bible scholars, if I’m not mistaken, it was written by Paul. I can’t be mistaken but nevertheless, hit me up if I’m wrong. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”
James, who is also in the New Testament, was the brother of Jesus. He wrote a book and he has a book in the Bible as well. I’m pulling this out of the first chapter the nineteenth verse. It says, “Remember this, my dear brothers and sisters, everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak and should not get angry easily.” James also said that the tongue is an unruly evil full of deadly poison.
Still talking about James in chapter 3:7-8. He said, “Humankind can tame beasts, birds, reptiles, and creation in the sea, yet we cannot tame our own tongue.” The scripture says, “No man and no woman contain the tongue.” James describes the human tongue as an unruly evil that is full of deadly poison. We use our tongues to create words. Here’s another one. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” As I said, we use our tongues to speak and to create words. We can use our words to give life and take life as well. Since the beginning of creation, our lives have been shaped by words spoken to us, over us, at us, and about us.
Words spoken and unspoken shape our childhood. They shape our relationship, they build, they undermine, destroy, and for some, they rebuild. Words spoken to us, at us, and over us have impacted our confidence so much that they determine to some extent who we see when we look in the mirror. How heavy were the words spoken to you? How heavy are the words you speak? Have you ever been crushed by someone’s words? If so, then you understand what I’m talking about or what we’re talking about.
It’s because none of us are exempt. We all have been injured and crushed in some way or another by the words of other people. Again, words carry weight, words, spoken words, and unspoken. They leave marks. Words are a mark for good. They will leave a mark for potentially bad. As I said, they build up and destroy. They discourage and inspire. Sometimes, these words wound our lives so badly that for some, we find it hard to recover and forgive.
We all have been impacted by the word spoken to us, including myself. I’m not exempt at all. The word spoken at us, over us, and about us all shape us to some extent who we are. My life, your life, and our lives have been shaped by these words that people have said to us. It can identify people, our mother, our father, siblings, our best friends, strangers, or our bosses. It’s not hard to identify who these people are and our lives, in some cases, have been shaped by words that we didn’t hear. Words that we wanted so badly and desperately needed to hear. We needed to hear these words but we never heard them. Here’s the thing. We are all quick to recognize the power that other people’s words have over us or about us in our lives.
We’re so quick to see that but we are often very slow to recognize or admit the fact that our words spoken and unspoken have equal power in the lives of other people. It isn’t easy to admit you have been an impact or you have an impact on other people’s lives as well just like we’ve been impacted by other people. I know for me it is. Sometimes, it’s not easy and we are quick to remember the exact words, especially the hurtful ones. The ones that sting and stick to you.
You can’t get them out of your head what someone said to you, but when it comes to you and me, the hurtful words, the words that we say to tear people down, instead of discouraging them, we make excuses. We make excuses such as, “No, that’s just who I am. I’m going to speak my mind. I’m only being real.” No, you’re not right or, “I’m being honest. They are just words.” My words are just words. I’m not saying this to hurt your feeling. They don’t mean anything. They don’t have any weight.
Also, you know nothing could be further than the truth. You know your words. You are using them intently to hurt and harm. Consequently, we don’t want to be honest about the fact that we use our words irresponsibly. We let them come and flow and not take consideration. Who are we talking about? We’re irresponsible with our words and we’ll say, “It’s not on purpose. It wasn’t intended,” but that’s not true either. We are irresponsible with our words because we don’t want to understand that person or we don’t want to realize, recognize, or embrace the fact that our words carry weight. Words are not equally weighted either. They carry weight but they’re not equally weighted. Negative words weigh way more than positive words.
Our negative words weigh way more than the positive words that we say. Studies have shown that in relationships in the marketplace, it tells us that we need to hear 5 to 9 positive words to counterbalance one negative word. That’s the typical relationship but here’s what I believe. I believe that in a marriage, in a relationship between a mother and her child, a relationship with your kids, parents, brother, sister, best friend, or those people that are in your inner circle, it’s not 5 or 9 words that you have to use. It’s probably 25 to 30 positive words that you’ll have to say to counterbalance one negative word.
When you tell your son or daughter that they’re stupid, you can’t come up with nine positive words that are going to counterbalance that. You’re going to need a good 25. What negative words are you saying to those that are around you, especially those that you love? Another point that I need to make is the source. The source determines the weight. Tell me you don’t agree. The source of a word determines the weight of the word.
Again, when we’re in a conversation or argument and we’re in a relationship with a stranger or someone we don’t know and they say something to us. It’s the source of the word. How much weight would that word have when that person doesn’t mean anything to you compared to the person who means a lot, like if you’re in a relationship, your partner, spouse, mother, son, brother, or father? Those people who we love and who love us have to remember who we are and what we represent to that person on the other side or to that person that we’re speaking to, especially those that we love, we have to remember that because it comes out of our mouths, it’s going to weigh even heavier than from a stranger.
I’m saying that you got to or you need to think about, “Who am I? What do I represent to the person that’s in this conversation that I’m speaking to? What do I represent to them? Are you their mother? Are you the child? Are you the teacher? Are you the boss? Are you a friend?” We have to remember that because what people hear and what they feel, regardless of what we think we’re saying, can and will do major damage in their lives and in the lives of others.
We can do that with words. When we get it wrong, because we’re all going to get it wrong, I need you to understand your intent. When you’re trying to get your point across and you’re not thinking about that person’s feelings, when that person is hurt and they have a wound, your intent is irrelevant. Your words, my word, and our words carry weight and they are not equally weighted. They carry more weight than you and I may think.
As I said before, especially in specific relationships, your parent, your child, your husband, your wife, your boss, or your best friend, those who are close to you, people we say that we love and who say they love us too. The fact is we know words have the potential to destroy as well as build up and undermine as well as inspire. All of us should take that into consideration because we all know that we’ve been impacted by the words other people have said to us.
We all must recognize that we must be good stewards and careful with our words, especially if we are human beings, and we all are unless we’re talking to animals. A human being who cares about others and if you’re anything like me, I love to talk. I love people and I’m a Jesus follower. What is the weight of our words to other people? What is the weight of your words to other people, especially those you claim you love? Are they leaving marks? Are they creating unforgivable wounds that take years to heal? Are they building up or are you destroying with your words? What results are your words producing? That’s the question that we’re going to help answer in this discussion that we’re going to have.
Before we dive into our discussion, I must introduce you to our first phenomenal guest for this episode topic. He’s not the first one for our show but he’s the first on this topic which is the weight of your words. Let me jump in and tell you a little bit about our guests. Our guest is a Master of Arts student in the Department of Economics at George Mason University. He graduated from Mercer University in Macon, Georgia with a Bachelor of Business Arts in Economics and Finance.
He is from Virginia, Liberia and he previously worked as a research analyst at the Central Bank of Liberia. He is also a Mercatus Research Think Tank Fellow at George Mason University. His research interest includes monetary policy and macroeconomics. Once he graduates, he plans to return to Liberia and work at the Central Bank of Liberia in monetary and macroeconomic policies. Please give it up and help me to welcome Mr. Samukai Sarnor to the show. Welcome, Samukai. It’s good to see you.
Thank you, Dr. Grimes.
Welcome Samukai. Thank you so much for saying yes to being a foreign YAYU, You Are You Unapologetically. While we jump into the discussion, I always like to give out our guests an opportunity to share how we met because some of my guests, I meet the day before or some, we have some history with. Here’s your opportunity. Please share how we met.
Thank you very much, Dr. Grimes, for inviting me to the show. It’s an honor and this is a great opportunity for me to appear and use my words. It’s part of learning for me and hopefully, others as well that we inspire from our discussion in this episode. How did we meet? I met Dr. Grimes back in 2017 when I was an undergraduate student at Mercer. I was searching for an internship and Dr. Grimes interview me for my first Corporate America internship in Washington, DC in 2017.
Since then, she has been a mentor and a friend who has always been there, who I’ve always looked up to, and who always inspired me. I’m beyond grateful for your friendship and mentorship. Thank you so much for inviting me to your show. We’ve kept in touch. I graduated from Mercer in 2018. I went back to Liberia and Coronavirus came. We got in touch again and connected. We started collaborating on several projects and all that. It’s an honor to be here.
Thank you so much. Yes, he was an intern. I remember up in DC working, we had to bring on interns and he was one of many phenomenal. It was 4 o 5 that I had to hire that particular summer. All of them were phenomenal as well. It was my first time meeting him. There was someone that worked with me that was from Liberia as well that I introduced you to, correct?
I was going to say the first time someone from Liberia, but no. We had a wonderful summer working together. Let me ask you this, Samukai, and as you said, we’re friends. He’s one hardworking individual. You are looking for somebody who crosses the T’s and dot I’s, that’s Samukai. I didn’t even intend that to run, but it did. Samukai, please share with our readers what does it mean to you to be you unapologetically?
Being me unapologetically means to be fearless, to be authentic, and to follow through on what I say to people or my friends. Not only to say it but to manifest and feel it. Walk in it and stay in it. Doing it without second-guessing myself.
I love it because what I hear you saying is it just be. My mission is to help people to be who they were created to be unapologetic. I say it all the time. It’s so easy to be you. It’s easy for me to be me and nobody else is better at being me. Thank you so much for that. We’re talking about the weight of our words. We know that one word can tear someone down in shreds. Let’s begin our conversation by talking about words that impact our lives. What are some of the words that were said to you that helped shape you into who you are now?
Words, as you clearly stated, were a brilliant introduction by you. I can relate very much to all of what you were saying about the power of words and the weight that it carries. I’m going to give an analogy with words like the gas. If you have a car, the words are the gas for the car. We are social beings. We got to interact with other people. We grow through hearing these words or not hearing them. We are products of the words that we hear or the words that we didn’t hear. If you go to the gas station, for example, they have regular gas and premium gas. You have to get the gas that is needed for your car. Talking about the context of being aware of your environment and who you are talking to.
If you meet a stranger now, how do you talk to them? Are you aware of the environment? If it’s a close person to you like a friend or a family member, how you talk to them is going to defer from the way you talk to other people. I didn’t grow up in a very vocal family. We didn’t say a lot of stuff and things growing up like, “You are great. I love you.” I didn’t get much of that but I had my first experience with words when I was in sixth grade. I had this friend and one time I went to the office. I was struggling at this point when I was growing up. I was struggling with my identity like, “Who am I? Why do I have to do all of this work? Every day we wake up. We work every day. We go to sleep and wake up. Why are we here?” All these questions would be popping into my mind when I was a kid.
At the end of the day, the only thing that would come to my mind was you have to be nice to people because, in that way, there’s a positive spillover of your action and words unto other people and yourself. Going back to sixth grade when I met this person, they taught me the word awesome. They told me, “You are awesome, Samukai.” I was like, “What does that mean? What do you mean by awesome?” I’ve never forgotten this word since that day. My life changed completely when I heard that. I was like, “What does awesome mean?” “You are vibrant. You are great.”
I was like, “Is that how you feel about me?” He is like, “Yeah. That is who you are. That is how you are.” It completely changed my perspective on the life in which I carry myself. I felt a complete change in my spirit from that moment on. I have all these thoughts in my mind of who I am. I knew I was great. I knew I had all of these great personalities and characteristics, but to manifest and live it, someone had to say it to me for me to feel and express it. That was the most powerful moment for me. Since then, I have learned to be positive and always give very good words to people. If I don’t have anything positive to say, I don’t say anything.
I’m the fifth child of eight and we all grew up in the house. We’re all stairsteps. You imagine being a fly on the wall. If there was disagreement or whatever, my mother would always say to us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
It’s great. We have just gone through the pandemic, the Coronavirus, and people have masks and trying to social distance. If I go to a college gym, you have a lot of students and all of that. When I go to the gym, people wouldn’t try to interact with me as much because of the situation we’re going through. If I see someone doing a workout in a particular form or so and I have done that before and I know what they’re doing, I talk to them like, “Do you want us to work out together? Can we do something together?” I spark up a conversation with them. I’ve normally found myself in a very deep conversation with these people in the gym. It was a powerful movement where they would be like, “This is very inspirational for me.”
I walked out feeling much more fulfilled and inspired by them. These are people that most likely I’m never going to see and people I don’t know. These are random people but that interaction is so uplifting and empowering. Words, no matter who you are or where I am, have a strong spiritual connection to me as a person and the community and society as a whole.
What I hear you saying is you make a point to use positive words to encourage, connect, and build up with people that you know as well as people that you don’t know. I get that. You guys know I love to talk but I also love to pour into people. One of the things that I love to do, and it’s my life mission, is when I meet people, I leave them with a memory and not a bad memory. Something good that makes them feel good about themselves or something that’s going to inspire them. Leave them with a memory that they may not remember what you said to them but they will always remember how you made them feel.
That’s what I hear you saying about the people that you interact with. You can’t give me a detailed run back on what the conversation was all about but you can tell me exactly how you felt, which is amazing. That’s what we want. We want to leave footprints like that. Now let me ask you this. What are some of the incidents or a situation that you can share with our readers where words that were said to you caused you to shut down and not be yourself? Can you share?
As you talk about unspoken words, it is so powerful because it is an expression that encapsulates your entire physical presence. Being involved, being aware, and also relating to another person is a whole other level. It is not you giving but it is you consuming as well as manifesting what is in the situation. Normally, smiling and being you. If you are in an environment where you are among strangers, for example, I found some people try to fidget around. They try to be a little uncomfortable because that is a form of communication. That are the words you are saying right there when you are in the midst of people.Unspoken words are so powerful because it is an expression that encapsulates your entire physical presence. Click To Tweet
I try to make myself comfortable, relaxed, and be myself. I’m not thinking about, “That person is walking too fast. That person looks like this,” because I don’t know what they’re going through. I don’t know what is going on. It doesn’t help if I am trying to factor in all of those situational variables about other people so I like to relax. Once I’m able to control my own physical expression, I realize there is this magnet and stuff that draws people to me and makes me expandable. Coming back to the question about situations where there are worse times that have been said to me that made me not be myself.
A few years ago, I was somewhere in Liberia. I’m not sure but it was in an environment where you cannot tell people what you know because it was a highly professional setting. Everyone was trying to protect something. I don’t know what exactly it is. I don’t know how to describe it but they said to me, “Samukai, you cannot tell people what you know. If they ask you about something, you tell them you don’t know.” Another one would be when people call me an American.
This is in Liberia, right?
Right. People will call me an American because I’m very particular about how things are done. I’m like, “Can we do it better than what it is?” People didn’t like it so I had a lot of backlash. I didn’t realize at that time that it was impacting me until I had come to grad school. I then found myself struggling to express myself with things that I know.
These are economic topics that will go into a discussion. I did Economics and Finance undergrad and I’ve worked so I had extensive knowledge in all of these things but then when we go to meetings, I’m sitting there and people are saying stuff that is not completely accurate or positive. I wouldn’t say much and it was about the middle of the semester that I caught myself. I was like, “Why am I not saying something? I know the topic and they’re expecting me to say something as well.”
I normally find myself either not adequately expressing myself or not saying anything at all because, over the years, I’ve heard people say, “Don’t say anything to these people. They only want to get your idea. They want to hear what you have to say.” Other people are calling me all these names and stuff. I don’t completely into it, but unconsciously, it was piling up in the back and impacted me in ways that I didn’t realize.
We can say, “It is not bothering me,” but we still have a conscious. Unconsciously, it gets in if you don’t take the time to address what was said. What do I mean by address? Acknowledge that this person said something derogatory to you. Whatever it is that they said, “How did that make me feel,” and then process that.
As I said, we can use this time to talk about what people said to us and how they made us feel. I also want to talk about what we say because no one is exempt. This is why I love this topic because everybody and anybody get to play from the smallest child. On the playground, they use words like, “Ew, you’re dumb.” We know our children are growing and some things they say they hear from their parents, but yet still, they can say some things. What I want you to share with me is what were some of the words that you used with other people to inflict pain or hurt. Here’s the cliché. Hurting people hurt people. I don’t think not one person has been exempt from that.
What I mean by that is not one person can say, “I’ve never been hurt before.” I’m not saying that we intentionally go out and hurt people, but what I’m saying is we’ve all been hurt and when we are hurt and we’re in our feelings, we’re going to say some hurtful things. We’re going to inflict pain because we’re receiving the pain.
That’s human nature but it doesn’t justify it. With that being said, please share with our readers, what are something that you said or that you’ve done that inflict pain and hurt. You might have done it intentionally or you were like, “I don’t care,” or you were like, “Oh my gosh.” Nevertheless, and that’s what I said, regardless of our intention, it hurts. Because it hurts, we can’t turn around and say something that’s going to make it stop hurting, unhurting, or remove the pain. Please share.
As I said, I didn’t express myself much growing up. In my undergraduate, I found myself not appreciating people that were close to me, especially my friends. I can say this because I don’t mind saying this. In my past relationship, I feel like I didn’t say the words that should have been said. Part of that is not an excuse.
We’re not saying these are excuses. We’re talking about it so we can identify some of the words. I would love for you to share what are those words that you know you should have said that you didn’t say because that was my next question. What are some of the things that you know you should have said, the unspoken words? You can put that in there as well.
I love you, you are beautiful, thank you, please, sometimes acknowledging people, recognizing, and appreciating them. Thank you was one word that I didn’t use much in college undergraduate. I learned that when I graduated and started working. It was probably from our conversation and when I was in Liberia that I started to use those words much more. I realized they’re so much more effective. Thank you, I love you, you look amazing, look at someone, see them, and tell them how they look or how you feel about them, I didn’t do that much.
You also said growing up that in your family, you guys were not as vocal and there are things that were not said or those unspoken words. What are some of those unspoken words that you wish you would’ve heard then and knowing if you would’ve heard it, the impact that it would’ve had on your life? It’s like when someone said to you, “You are awesome,” and that had a huge impact. What are some of those unspoken words that you wish you would’ve heard in your childhood or even now?
I was talking like, “You are great.” I remember vividly. Going back to middle school, a lot of things happened. Growing up, we didn’t talk much. One day my mom went to my school campus and she got my grades. I didn’t go to the closing ceremony. I was like, “It’s okay. My mom can go get the grades.” She went and got my report. She got home that day and she was really excited. I know she is happy and lovely, but why she’s so excited?
She came straight towards me. She hugged me and kissed me. That was the first time for me to be that intimate with my mom. She kissed me in my mouth. I was like, “What’s going on?” She was like, “You topped the class. Everyone is so excited. They recognized you.” I didn’t even know I topped the class. I didn’t care about any of that. I didn’t care about school or anything.
I was like, “I need to go to school. I’ll go to school. I’m supposed to do this,” but then when she came home that day and brought my report, she was so excited. She hugged me and kissed me. I was like “Whoa.” I have to get all going forward. I kept studying hard because I wanted my mom to be proud. I want her to come home, hug me, and kiss me. That was powerful. We didn’t get much but that one instant, I can never forget it.
It changed the trajectory of your life even though it was something that wasn’t said before or done before. I’m quite sure she kissed you many times but not like that or because of that. That right there changed the trajectory for you. As you said, “I didn’t care,” but that right there made me start caring because you wanted more of that. As I was saying, it’s our spoken words and our unspoken words. Now let me share this as we try to bring this episode to a close. How do you manage your tongue and your words?
I won’t say much normally but when I do say something, I’m a problem solver. If someone is mad or I feel there’s some tension, friction, or something, I want to know what is going on. Why is this person or why there is friction? I try to propose a solution. Growing up, I never believed in using any offensive words. Why do I want to be hurtful? Why do I want to be mean? I’m not going to benefit from it and the other person is not going to benefit from it.
Society is not going to benefit from it. I do hurt people’s feelings knowingly or unknowingly. One way that I did that was by not saying anything at all. It’s the unspoken. I know that this is the situation. This person is hurt or this person is in this position and they want me to say something like this. I wouldn’t say it. I’ll refrain from saying it. In terms of expressing it, I’ll try to be like, “How can we solve this problem?” I try to find a nice possible way I can get around it to talk to them and resolve it.
We’ve all had negative people in our lives. I identify them as struggling with saying positive things because, as I said, every negative word that we hear or that we say to someone should be counterbalanced with positive words. Research said 5 to 9. I’m saying possibly so if you don’t know the person, there’s no intimate or direct close relationship. However, with those who you do have a relationship with, who are intimate in your family that you love, who we say we love and they love us back, what I’m saying is you have to find 25 to 30 words to counterbalance that negative word.
What advice would you give someone who is struggling with saying negative words? Before you give that answer, let that be your closing remark, something that people can take away from this conversation. Before the order you would like it to go in, I also would like you to share with those who are reading how they get in contact with you. How do people get in contact with you if they want to continue this conversation or if they want to learn more about you?
There may be people who want to come to Liberia, I don’t know but share that information. I would love for you to have a closing remark in a way where you’re giving a takeaway to people who may be struggling with finding positive words or encouraging words or someone who doesn’t care that the weight of their words matters. What would you say? Please jump in. Go right ahead in whatever order you want to do it.
The words, as you have said, that we have been saying has power. They can make you or break you. Words for me is the fundamental basis on which human thrive and would grow. Society grows. As human beings, we must be very aware of the fact that words can make or break you. We should also be aware that negative words have more weight than positive words. The weight that it has is destructive both ways, both by the person that is saying it. If you are saying something, it comes back to you. If it goes out, it also hurt other people. That person that you say that word to is not going to stay with that person. It’s also going to continue. You never know it. They could be your child’s teacher or tutor or your brother or sister’s friend.As human beings, we must be very aware of the fact that words can make or break you. Click To Tweet
If you pass on a negative shock, destructive, and hurtful thing to them, it’s going to spill over to another person because they’re going to carry it on. They’re going to take. It is going to be a part of them. They’re going to pass other people as well and it’s going to create a loop that you are not even aware of. Be aware of the power of words and the context, whether to a stranger or your family because it’s much easier for you to relate to your family than it is for a stranger. Sometimes we get comfortable with our families as well. It’s a slippery slope there.
How can people get in contact with you?
I’m on Facebook. My name is Samukai Sarnor. I have an Instagram. If you want to have a conversation outside of here, my number is (706) 573-5968. At least, I’m going to be using it until I’m in the US but the best way to get me would be either on Facebook. If you check my name, you’ll get me. Once you send me a message, I’ll make sure to respond to you.
There you guys have it. Sarnor, thank you for sharing the weight of your words with us because our words carry weight and they’re not equally weighted. As I said, if a mother says something to a child, her words to that child are not equally weighted. Be mindful of that. The source of the word or where it came from carries weight as well. I want to say thank you Samukai so much for saying yes and being here. We truly appreciate you. Thank you for sharing, coming on, being you, and helping our readers to understand how important the weight of your words is.
It’s my honor. Thank you for inviting me.
The question is, how many words would you say you are away from totally ruining someone else’s life? How many words from totally wrecking another person’s life? Think about how many words it takes for you to ruin your own life. It’s easy if you’re not mindful that our words carry weight and they are not equally weighted. As I said before, the source of the word determines the weight of the word. There are no if, ands, or buts about it.
We all know it’s easy. We know it’s easy to lose yourself in this flashing clashing of ideas, conflicting beliefs, and the flood of information that we have to sift through day after day. Society’s rigid expectations and endless opinions, self-expression, and self-appreciation can feel challenging and daunting. Most of the time it’s easy and we push it away. We dumb down. We hide who we are and we go with the flow.
We let people say or receive whatever it is that they say but here’s what I want you to understand. You are you unapologetically, which means being true to how you were created and not allowing people’s opinions to affect how you show up in life. Let people talk. Make sure to be mindful of the words you use to encourage because people are going to talk anyway. We don’t have another second to waste to be intimidated by the presence of others and to think little of ourselves. We have no time for that. When you show up without the pretense and hesitation, the world can’t. They can’t and they won’t because they can’t. You are glamorous.
Most importantly, you’ll be inspired to share your life and to help others to tap into their brilliance. Put it into the disparaging mindset and begin to own your authentic self. This is what we’re all about here. You are you unapologetically. Continue to join me right here in a safe space where I initiate influential conversations about you being you. This is what we do because you are you unapologetically and no one is better at being you than you. Thank you, guys, so very much. I can’t say it enough. Thank you for being here and we look forward to seeing you on our next episode. I’m humbled and I’m honored. Until then, take care and bye-bye.
- Samukai Sarnor – LinkedIn
About Samukai Sarnor
Samukai Sarnor is a first-year MA student with the Department of Economics at George Mason University. He graduated from Mercer University with a BBA in Economics and Finance. Samukai previously worked as a research analyst at the Central Bank of Liberia. His research interests include monetary policy and macroeconomics.