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Embracing Your Flaws With Dr. Kim R. Grimes

YAYU 19 | Embracing Flaws

 

You are invited to an in-depth exploration of a topic that is so fundamental to our human experience which reveals our true greatness. A topic that not just anyone can explore. It takes courage and honesty to go on this journey. The journey of “Embracing Your Flaws.” We’ll take a dive deep into this subject because it’s a journey worth investing your time in.

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Embracing Your Flaws With Dr. Kim R. Grimes

Words just cannot express my gratitude for the support because it’s been off the chain. Thank you again and again. I know your time is precious and I am so grateful that you spend it with us. We’re so honored and grateful. You guys know how we do things around here. We are changing our format, but before I tell you about our exciting new format, let me share with you the old format, and it’s for those who may be their first time checking us out.

Instead of having an individual guest come on and discuss a topic, we have brought on multiple guests to discuss the same topic. We call it a topic series because we believe that we all have different perspectives and experiences, and we did it for diversity. Point blank, that’s why we did it. We were hoping that someone or one of our guest perspectives or situations would align with yours because we want to provide support in some way.

In our last 7 episodes, it was 6 with the guests. One, I did an introduction like I’m going to be doing with our next topic. We discussed a great topic on the weight of your words. We know the topic generated amazing conversation with our guests and our audience. We were blessed with six different guests who brought their different perspectives on this topic. I want to give a quick review of what they were.

All of our guests are phenomenal and wonderful, and we are so grateful that they come on, give their time, and then share their insight and their wisdom. Samukai Sarnor, his topic and what he discussed was The Weight Of Our Words: How They Make You Or Break You. With Kate Butler, we had The Weight Of Your Words: Being Mindful Of The Things We Say. With Ien Chi, The Power Of Words: How Heavy Are The Words You Speak? Omozua Isiramen’s topic was Emotional Mastery: Taming The Inner Mind Chihuahua. With Maribeth Decker, we discussed and talked about The Weight Of Your Words: The Impact Of Words Spoken To Us, At Us, And Over Us. With Matthew Brackett, The Great Power Of Words.

Please join me in taking a moment to thank all of our guests from the last six episodes. I also want to continue to thank all of our guests. Every last guest that we had that joined us way back started with us from episode number one, no doubt, we’re grateful for them. Without them, we couldn’t do what we do. We know we’re changing lives here. It could not happen, like I said, without our audience and our guests.

Let’s talk about the change that I mentioned earlier. We all know, and if you don’t, change is good. Some people I know don’t like change, but it’s okay. Change says growth. It speaks to your growth. That is what we all want. We want to grow. We don’t want to be stagnant and not growing at all. Our new format is not entirely different. Not a whole lot. We will still come up with a topic and invite multiple guests to join us in dialogue. We will still have a topic series. Instead of one guest per episode speaking, we will have 3 to 4.

For each episode, you will hear from 3 to 4 guests speaking on the same topic. This allows us to get more guests on the show and to share their insights on more and more topics. I’m excited. I hope you’re as excited as I am. We will always do our topics. I will always come in and do an intro of the topic as they change because we’re doing a topic series. When we move on to another topic, I will come in and introduce that topic. The topic will be either me solo or it will be combined with the guest episode. I wanted to share that as well.

It is that time to introduce our new topic series for the discussion of this show. For the next episode, please be sure to join me and our guests as we go into an in-depth exploration of a topic that is so fundamental to our human experience, which reveals our true greatness. You guys know I’m always talking about greatness because I believe every one of us was great.

Identifying And Embracing Flaws

This topic is not just anyone can explore. It’s not for the faint-hearted and lighthearted as well. For this topic, it takes courage and honesty to go on this journey. This journey is all about identifying first, then embracing your flaws. That’s it. Join me as we take a deep dive into this subject because it’s a journey worth investing your time in, believe me when I say. Before we dive deeper into this topic, allow me to provide clarity on what I mean by flaws. I want to give a definition of what flaws are so we’re all on the same sheet of music.

Flaws are the imperfections, the quirks, the idiosyncrasies, and the unique qualities that make each of us who we are. Unique qualities that make you, you. They can be physical, emotional, or relational to our personality traits. Our flaws are aspects of ourselves that we often perceive as undesirable. My flaws are aspects of myself. There are times that I have perceived them as undesirable. I don’t want to share them. I don’t want to know about my flaws. They’re my flaws. It’s like opening up my dirty panty drawer and looking in. Even though I don’t have one, I throw all my dirty panties in the dirt clothes.

Despite the beauty and richness that our flaws bring and contribute to our lives, nevertheless, we live and work in a society that often bombards us with unrealistic ideals of perfection. How many people have you met that their lives are surrounded by being perfect? They just want to be perfect. At times, each of us experiences immense pressure to fit in certain molds or to be like certain people. These ideas can create a sense of shame or inadequacy regarding our flaws. It led you and me to believe that our flaws are something to be ashamed of. Something that we should not be aware of, let alone talk about.

Despite the beauty and written richness that our flaws actually bring and contribute to our lives, we live and work in a society that often bombards us with unrealistic ideals of perfection. Click To Tweet

Are our flaws fall hot? Are our flaws something we should be ashamed of? Are you ashamed of your flaws? If so, why? Embracing my flaws means accepting my imperfections and my vulnerability without judgment of myself, without condemning myself, and without being ashamed of who I am and the quirky things that I do. There shouldn’t be any shame whatsoever involved. Embracing your flaws and my flaws is crucial to personal development. It’s crucial to my personal development and my personal growth because it allows me to let go of unrealistic expectations that I often place on myself.

When you embrace your flaws, you can tap into the true you, tap into your true potential. When I embrace my flaws, I’m tapping into my true potential and experience. Genuine self-acceptance and genuine self-love are the foundation of my personal growth and happiness. Embracing my flaws is not just about accepting them. It’s about celebrating them. I celebrate my flaws. You should celebrate yours too. It is about recognizing that my flaws or my imperfections are what makes me human, what makes me unique, and what makes me relatable.

When we recognize our imperfections, we are recognizing those things that make us, us. It makes us human. No more feeling shame about your flaws. Are you wondering why I’m embarking on this? Are you wondering why embracing our flaws is essential? Are you asking yourself what is so important about this journey? This journey is very important because it leads to self-acceptance and self-love. That is what shows up when you embrace your flaws.

Let me start by saying that embracing your flaws allows you to become a more authentic version of yourself. It allows me to become me. That’s why we have this show. We want to give you tools and techniques so that you can be you. If you want to be fake, stop reading. Being fake is not what we do here. It’s not what our show is all about. When you accept your flaws, you no longer feel the need to hide behind the masks.

There’s an exercise that I do when I do my in-person workshops and I show people how they take on and off their masks. When we accept our flaws, we no longer feel that we have to hide behind a mask or pretend to be someone that we’re not. I want to make a point here as well to say that I know and truly understand that accepting flaws can be difficult for many people. There are a variety of reasons why, and we get it. I understand it. I just want to share a few so that you know that we understand. I get it.

For some people, they may feel that admitting their flaws will prevent them from being accepted personally and professionally. Some people feel that way. We want to respect that. Many coaches don’t reward failures and see it as a negative trait. Our flaws are seen as a negative trait. Coaches have been taught not to honor your flaws. People may fear that treating themselves too kindly will cause their flaws to get worse. Some people may have fragile egos and brittle self-esteem, so it may be difficult for them to embrace their flaws. Some people may receive messages from the media, their families, or people in their lives, such as teachers or religious teachers that imply that accepting your flaws makes you inferior.

Many cultures don't reward failures and see them as a negative trait, so our flaws are seen as a negative trait. Click To Tweet

I want to say this. He looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. I found that in Isaiah 64:6. In 2 Corinthians 12 and 9, in this particular verse, you see Paul quoting Jesus saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul is pointing out that God is strong and can overcome our weaknesses. Our imperfections can also bring us closer to God and closer to others, especially to those we might look down upon because of their flaws and their weaknesses.

I always like to support my content with scriptures because I’m a Jesus follower, and that’s what Jesus followers do. The concept of embracing my flaws means to me personally. It means embracing me, not just a little bit of me, but all of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We all have ugly in us. By embracing my flaws, it helps me to see my ugly clearer. No way I am saying or calling myself ugly. That’s not what I’m doing. Don’t get it twisted.

I have ugly in me. You have ugly in you. We all do. How does bracing my flaws impact my life? I want to be specific and share a flaw of mine and how I learned to embrace it. I am infamous. When I say infamous, it is pronouncing words wrong. At first, I was self-conscious about it. Especially I remember in grade school, I wouldn’t get up and read because of the fear of 1) Not reading accurately, 2) Mispronouncing the words and having everyone laugh at me. That is something that I’ve always done. I learned how to embrace it. I’ll say the word incorrectly or pronounce it incorrectly. The way I’m saying it, I’m believing I’m saying it right. I’m good at this. I’m telling you, I do it all the time. I’m saying it as if I have the word correct. That’s my belief until someone tells me that it’s wrong, or I’m saying it incorrectly. I’m infamous for that. I do it all the time.

I’m no longer ashamed of it. I’m like, “I said that wrong? My bad. What’s the correct way of pronouncing it?” My husband is very good. He loves me so much. He helps me tremendously in this area. There’s no shame at all. The other thing I do is I’m horrible at pronouncing names accurately. I’m big on names because you can’t mess up my name. My name is Kim. You cannot mess up my name. I’m not Kimberly. I’m just Kim. I don’t do it intentionally. I’ll ask you your name. I am intentional about getting it accurate. I’ll say it over and over until I get it correctly because that’s another flaw of mine.

There are some misconceptions that people have about embracing flaws. They don’t think it’s something that we should do. I disagree because embracing your flaws can have many benefits. I just want to name a few, such as improving your self-esteem and being less judgmental. You’ll be less judgmental with people, more resilient, more focused, deeper connections, and more understanding.

When you embrace your flaws, you realize that you are still a whole person, which improves your self-esteem. When you accept that your flaws are a normal part of life, you become less judgmental and ego-driven. Accepting flaws can make you more resilient and grounded because you know these are your quirks. These are the things that are unique about you that set you aside. We may not want to shine a light on it, but it’s still a part of you. When you accept it, you become more resilient.

YAYU 19 | Embracing Flaws
Embracing Flaws: When you embrace your flaws, you realize that you are still a whole person.

 

When you accept who you are, you can focus your energy on what you want to achieve in life. It makes you more focused. You won’t find yourself venting on, “I do this wrong. I know I’m going to get this wrong.” It helps with deeper connections. When you embrace your flaws, you will connect with people, but it will be on a deeper level because you’ll find people who can connect with you. They may have the same flaws or similar flaws.

YAYU 19 | Embracing Flaws
Embracing Flaws: When you embrace your flaws, you will connect more. You will connect with people but it will be on a deeper level.

 

When you embrace your flaws, you can learn and grow from them. That’s what gives you a better understanding of yourself and who you are, which makes you more humble and compassionate. Self-awareness is the first step in embracing flaws. You have to know who you are or be aware of the things that you do. I want to share this one technique that I used on me to help me not only uncover my greatness but also helped me to become aware of my flaws and own them, aware of my imperfections and love them.

Path To Greatness: The Mirror Work Technique

This exercise is called Path to Greatness. I introduced this before in an episode in 2022. Here’s the technique that will help you not only uncover or acknowledge your own and live in your greatness, but it’s going to also help you identify and become aware of your imperfections as well. It’s a two-step exercise. It’s simple, but it’s difficult. It’s difficult because we struggle. We are so afraid to look at the inside of ourselves. Many people run from who they are because they don’t want to look at or venture on the inside.

This exercise calls you to do that. Let me tell you what it entails. You are going to ask yourself, and you’re going to answer questions. I’m going to give you the questions. You’re going to do this for seven days without duplicating any answers. You are going to write down your answers. Get yourself a little notebook or in your journal and make sure you write down your answers but you can’t have any duplications. Every day after you find the answer to the question, you’re going to go in front of a mirror and speak the question out loud. You do not want to miss this vital step. That vital step is the mirror work. You need to do the mirror work.

If you miss a day of answering the questions, you have to double up on the next day. If two days go by, meaning you missed two days, then you’re going to have to triple up on the next day, or split it between one day, double up, another day, and double up. You have to catch up. After seven days, you should have seven sets of answers to these questions that I am about to share with you. You cannot get any help from anyone. Your parents can’t help you, your children, your siblings, your colleagues, or your spouse can’t help you. You cannot get any help. This is all self-work, meaning you have to do it yourself.

With that, I want to share with you the four questions. I did not come up with these questions. I read these questions in the book. The book was called No Matter What! by Lisa Nichols. I just used the same questions, but I created this exercise for myself. Here are the questions. What I like about myself, what I appreciate about myself, what I love about myself, what I admire about myself. Like, Appreciate, Love, Admire. I call it LALA.

YAYU 19 | Embracing Flaws
No Matter What!: 9 Steps to Living the Life You Love by Lisa Nichols

If you can’t remember, think LALA. It doesn’t have to be in that order, but I’m just saying LALA for you to be able to remember it. I am giving you an example of what your work will be. This is a tool or a technique that I want you to do to help you not only uncover your greatness, but it’s going to help you identify your flaws. What it looks like is this, “What I like about myself is that I am brilliant. What I appreciate about myself is that I have tenacity. What I love about myself is my cocoa-brown skin. What I admire about myself are my big brown eyes.”

You have to answer these four questions every day. You’re going to write them down in your journal. You’re then going to take your journal, stand in front of the mirror, and read the question out loud with your answer. “What I like about myself is that I am determined. What I appreciate about myself is that I can get along with anyone. What I love about myself is that I love the support people. What I admire about myself is that I don’t give up.” These are answers that I have written down about myself, and I have done this enough times that I can just lay them out and share them. I can do that for the rest of the episode but I don’t want to bore you. That’s the technique.

To make it challenging, do that for seven days. I said it was two steps. The first step is the first seven days. The second step is that you’re going to continue to do it for another seven days. It’s going to be a combination of fourteen days. Now, you can’t have any repeats in the first week, but in the second week, you can repeat just one answer. For example, if in the previous week, you said, “What I love about myself are my eyes,” in the second week during step two, you can repeat that but you can’t say love. You can say, “What I admire, like, and appreciate about myself are my eyes.” You can use it that way.

Here’s a two-week technique that will help you uncover, acknowledge, own, and live in your greatness. It will also help you to recognize your imperfections. As you write down these things and do this exercise, you’re going to doubt your abilities. You’re going to say, “I’m not good over here. I can’t do this.” That’s your imperfections. It’s going to come up. After doing this exercise for two weeks, you will uncover your greatness, but you will become aware of your imperfections and your flaws.

When you handle your flaws, you will become flawsome. Let me share what that means. I ran across it on the internet. I was like, “That is so great.” Flawsome is an adjective. The definition says, “It’s an individual who embraces their flaws and knows that they’re awesome regardless.” Handling and embracing our flaws makes us flawsome. Embracing your flaws can also make you a nicer friend, colleague, co-worker, or family member. You may be less criticized or less likely to criticize and judge others, which can make your relationship karma more rewarding.

Blossom is an individual who embraces their flaws and knows that they're awesome regardless. Click To Tweet

The Benefits Of Embracing Your Flaws

Another way to embrace our flaws is to shift our perspective on how we perceive ourselves. Shift your perspective on how you perceive yourself. Instead of viewing yourself as lacking in certain areas, you can start to see yourself as a whole being. Accepting flaws can be a painful process. I said it was difficult at first because some people have a difficult time accepting it, but it can also have benefits. It can also bring happiness, the key to your happiness and your growth. It allows people to be authentic and honest. There are benefits to embracing your flaws.

When people like you and I admit our flaws, we show our vulnerability, which will make people like us more. Why? They can relate to our vulnerabilities. They can relate to what we’re sharing, what we’re telling, and what our flaws are. They’ll say, “I’m like that as well.” It’s important to understand that flaws are subjectively and culturally influenced. It’s so important to understand that.

YAYU 19 | Embracing Flaws
Embracing Flaws: It’s important to understand that flaws are subjective and culturally-influenced.

 

One person may see your flaw as a flaw or a negative thing and someone else may find it endearing. We cannot continue to judge ourselves, condemn ourselves, and make ourselves feel or realize that we’re not worthy or we’re not good enough because of some of the things that we do. We want to, and we should embrace our flaws.

In the next episode, I’m bringing on guests who will share some insight but juicy tidbits on how they embrace their flaws as well. I want you guys to know that we have to embrace our flaws because it’s so easy to lose yourself in these day’s clashing ideas and conflicting beliefs. We’re flooded with information all over the place. Not to mention society’s rigid expectations and inlet opinions that land on our laps. It makes self-expression and self-appreciation feel like it’s such a heavy lift. When we feel this way, the majority of times, or most of us push it down, dumb down, or hide who we really are, or we just find ourselves nodding and just going with the flow.

What I need you to understand is that you are you, unapologetically. That means being true to who you are and who you were created to be. Do not allow people’s opinions to affect how you show up in life. We have no time to be intimidated by the presence of others because people are going to talk about us regardless. Just let them talk, but don’t be intimidated by it. When you show up without pretense, embracing your flaws, without hesitation recognizing your flaws and your quirks, the world can’t dull your glamor. They can’t, no matter how hard they try. Most importantly, when you show up like that, you will be inspired to shine your light and you will inspire others to shine their light and help them to tap into their brilliance.

You are you unapologetically and that means being true to who you are. Click To Tweet

We are here to put an end to the disparaging mindset and to begin to own our authentic selves. That’s why this show exists. Here’s what I want you guys to do. I want you to join me on every possible episode you can where we create a safe space and initiate influential conversations about being you because we realize that it’s hard. The world makes it so hard for us to be ourselves, and then we have our ego that gets in the way. We have a lot of things against us.

What I want you to do is I want you to know that you are you, unapologetically. No one is better at being you than you. I dare you to find someone who can do you better. Let’s just say I know no one is better at being me than me. That’s why I do me the way I do me. That’s why I show up. That’s why I embrace my flaws, embracing that I’m loud and I’m proud, embracing that I talk fast, mispronounce words on the regular, and chop up names on the regular. When I do that, I am me unapologetically, and no one can be better at being me. Please join me on the next episode where we will go into a deep discussion with our guests about embracing your flaws. That’s it for now. Thank you for hanging in here with me. See you soon.

 

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